Panicked ER Doctor Calls 911
CHARLOTTE, NC—In the midst of performing an emergency appendectomy Thursday, panicked ER doctor Caleb Morrison dropped his surgical instruments mid-operation and dialed 911.
Patient Referred To Physician Who Specializes In Giving A Shit
NORTH PLATTE, NE—After visiting his primary care physician Tuesday with complaints of intense pain in his left leg, computer programmer Dan Fields was referred ...
Nation's Optometrists Finally Starting To Recover After Raucous Optic Disc Expo 2011
ATLANTA—Following days of lengthy seminars, pharmaceutical presentations, and panels on topics ranging from retinal fluid to posterior microphthalmos, the lives of optometrists across America ...
Revolutionary New Homophobia Immersion Therapy Involves Lowering Patient Into Tank Of Gays
BOSTON—During a widely publicized press conference at the Boston University School of Medicine Friday, researchers announced a breakthrough new technique that cures homophobia by ...
Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There
STOCKHOLM—As a world-renowned expert on lady-part maladies, Dr. Victoria Lozoff led a team of hoo-ha doctors to develop new strategies for detecting abnormal cells ...
