Economy

Search Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers 05.23.12

Autistic reporter Michael Falk questions the logic of continuing to look for a group of lost hikers who clearly are no longer alive. more»

Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet 02.01.12

132-Room Estate Includes Personal Chef, 24-Hour Security Detail

WASHINGTON—Over the past three years, as the sluggish economy has forced many Americans to tighten their belts, President Obama has reportedly enjoyed a lavish personal lifestyle, residing with his family in a 132-room house staffed by a 24-hour se... more»

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer 01.07.12

SAN DIEGO—Following seven straight years of long hours at the office and sacrificed weekends and holidays, all of account manager Sam Hemstead's hard work and single-minded devotion to Pinnacle Automotive Insurance has finally paid off for CEO Charl... more»

High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos 11.29.11

A new jobs report from the Department of Labor shows that Americans are out of work because 35% of them now have face tattoos and employers are reluctant to hire anyone who would willingly mar their face with tiger stripes. more»

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Search Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers
News

Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet
News

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer
Video: Onion News Network On IFC

High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos

Couple Has Nest Egg Of Debt To Make Sure They've Got Some Money To Owe Down The Road

ISSUE 48•21 | 05.22.12 | News in Brief

BRIMLEY, MI—Local couple Matt and Wendy Ratliff told reporters Tuesday that they have been steadily building up a nest egg of debt to make sure that they always had something tucked away to owe banks and creditors no matter what the future held. more»
Fracking Industry Now Largest Employer Of Recent PR Graduates

ISSUE 48•19 | 05.09.12 | News in Brief

SAN FRANCISCO—A new labor market study published Wednesday has found that oil companies with hydraulic fracturing interests have outpaced the tobacco industry, Wall Street, and the gun lobby to become the largest employer of recent college graduates... more»
New Visa Talking Credit Card Urges Buyers To Go For It

ISSUE 48•18 | 05.01.12 | News in Brief

SAN FRANCISCO—Financial services giant Visa held a press event Tuesday to introduce "Visa Voice," a new line of talking credit cards that urges shoppers to just go ahead and buy it if that's what they really want. "Whenever ... more»
'The Recovery Is Here,' Reports Underemployed Man Making $20,000 Less Than He Used To

ISSUE 48•13 | 03.27.12 | News in Brief

CARBONDALE, IL—Citing the fact that he's now able to make the minimum payment on his credit cards each month and is back in the workforce making $20,000 less than when he was laid off in 2009, 43-year-old Tom Baker declared Tuesday that the ec... more»
Converse Shoes (CON)

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.17.12 | Stockwatch

$6.58 (-$0.32) (+4.6%) Shares fell when the company’s quarterly report revealed the lack of punk bands forming in 2011 had caused sales of the shoe manufacturer’s popular Chuck Taylor brand to fall to its lowest level since 1997. more»
Hostess Files For Bankruptcy

ISSUE 48•02 | 01.12.12 | American Voices

Hostess, the manufacturer of such American food staples as Wonder Bread, the Twinkie, and the Ding Dong, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. more»
2011's Most Influential People In Economic News

ISSUE 47•50 | 12.12.11 | Slideshow

In a year in which the world economy continued to slide, here are five people everybody can blame in order to avoid taking any individual responsibility. more»
2011: The Economy

ISSUE 47•50 | 12.12.11 | American Voices

This year, the struggling economy once again dominated headlines, and most of the news was bad. How has the slow recovery affected you? more»
U.S. To Give Limestone-Based Economy A Shot Starting Next Week

ISSUE 47•49 | 12.09.11 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—Facing a grim fiscal future made even more uncertain by the looming insolvency of Greece and Italy, the U.S. more»
Wayne Enterprises (WEP)

ISSUE 47•48 | 11.29.11 | Stockwatch

$15.47 (-$0.08)(-0.51%) Photos of a bruised Bruce Wayne have led many investors to fear the conglomerate's CEO is suffering from lymphoma. more»
U.S. Adds 4 Million Jobs But In St. Louis

ISSUE 47•48 | 11.29.11 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—The Labor Department reported Monday that the U.S. economy created a staggering 4 million jobs in October, though government officials hastened to add that the new positions are all located in the St. more»
Budget Super Committee A Bust

ISSUE 47•47 | 11.23.11 | American Voices

Tasked with finding $1.2 trillion worth of deficit cuts to be spread over the next 10 years, the budget super committee in Congress announced this week it had failed to reach a compromise. more»
Only Time Employee Has Ever Done Job Is When Training Replacement

ISSUE 47•46 | 11.17.11 | News in Brief

SPRINGFIELD, MO—While training his replacement on his final day of work Thursday, outgoing warehouse shipping worker Ben Worthen, 29, reportedly performed the actual designated functions of his job for the first time in his entire two years of emplo... more»
Popcorn Factory (POP)

ISSUE 47•46 | 11.15.11 | Stockwatch

$10.80 (+$0.19)(+1.8%) Share prices climbed today on word Ohio homemaker Debbie Turnquist had been absolutely bombarded with catalogs and was slowly showing signs of believing $29.99 was an acceptable price for a can of popcorn. more»
Magnanimous Banker Hires Occupy Wall Street Protesters

ISSUE 47•46 | 11.15.11 | News in Brief

NEW YORK—Saying the recently arrested protesters had just the right kind of tenacity and pluck needed to shake up the financial services industry, magnanimous and benevolent Morgan Stanley banker Hank Billings approached members of the Occupy Wall S... more»
Coinstar Inc. (CSTR)

ISSUE 47•45 | 11.08.11 | Stockwatch

$47.50 (− $0.08) (− 0.2%) Investors are expected to remain on the sidelines until the Jakubczak family decides whether to convert its topped off swear jar into cash or an Amazon gift certificate. more»
Report: More Recent College Graduates Making Extra Money By Tutoring High School Teachers

ISSUE 47•44 | 11.03.11 | News in Brief

NORMAL, IL—According to the Center for the Study of Education Policy at Illinois State University, an increasing number of recent college graduates unable to find jobs in their chosen field have turned to tutoring high school teachers for money. more»
JPMorgan Chase (JPM)

ISSUE 47•44 | 11.01.11 | Stockwatch

$34.90 (+$0.72) (+ 2.1%) The financial world was shaken today when CEO Jamie Dimon stated that the Occupy Wall Street movement had significantly eaten into the banking titan's profits, announced Chase would have to drastically reformulate its business pla... more»
Remains Of Ancient Race Of Job Creators Found In Rust Belt

ISSUE 47•44 | 10.31.11 | News

WASHINGTON—A team of leading archaeologists announced Monday they had uncovered the remains of an ancient job-creating race that, at the peak of its civilization, may have provided occupations for hundreds of thousands of humans in the American Nort... more»
Department Of Treasury Releases New Monsters Of The Silver Screen 20 Dollar Bill

ISSUE 47•43 | 10.28.11 | Onion Review

The nation begs its smart people to please just fix everything now, John Madden agrees to work as a consultant for the Oakland Raiders' concession stands, and a local man’s utter failure in life is a bit of a sore spot. It's the week of October 24th, 2011. more»
Wal-Mart Shutters New York Fashion Presence

ISSUE 47•43 | 10.28.11 | American Voices

Two years after relocating its fashion offices to New York, retail giant Wal-Mart announced it was moving the division back to Arkansas. more»
U.S. To Offer Tax Incentives To Companies That Do Not Openly Make World Worse At Every Turn

ISSUE 47•43 | 10.27.11 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—A growth-stimulus package introduced in Congress Thursday aims to provide tax incentives to companies that do not openly and unapologetically make the world a worse place than it already is. more»
Nation Finally Breaks Down And Begs Its Smart People To Just Fix Everything

ISSUE 47•43 | 10.27.11 | News

WASHINGTON—Overwhelmed by the frustration of being utterly unable to solve any of the numerous difficult problems it faces, a worn-out nation finally broke down Thursday morning and begged its smart people to please just fix everything now. Admittin... more»
AT&T (T)

ISSUE 47•43 | 10.25.11 | Stockwatch

$28.34 (-.79) (-2.9%) Investors hammered the telecommunications stock after CFO John Stephens admitted the had lost the shoebox where he keeps all the company's receipts. more»
Wall Street Executive Suffering Heart Attack Realizing Everyone Just Going To Let Him Die On Sidewalk

ISSUE 47•42 | 10.25.11 | Newswire

Economy

Search Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers 05.23.12

Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet 02.01.12

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer 01.07.12

High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos 11.29.11

Video: Onion News Network On IFC

News

News

Video: Onion News Network On IFC

Infographic

News in Photos

Infographic

Couple Has Nest Egg Of Debt To Make Sure They've Got Some Money To Owe Down The Road

Fracking Industry Now Largest Employer Of Recent PR Graduates

New Visa Talking Credit Card Urges Buyers To Go For It

'The Recovery Is Here,' Reports Underemployed Man Making $20,000 Less Than He Used To

Converse Shoes (CON)

Hostess Files For Bankruptcy

2011's Most Influential People In Economic News

2011: The Economy

U.S. To Give Limestone-Based Economy A Shot Starting Next Week

Wayne Enterprises (WEP)

U.S. Adds 4 Million Jobs But In St. Louis

Budget Super Committee A Bust

Only Time Employee Has Ever Done Job Is When Training Replacement

Popcorn Factory (POP)

Magnanimous Banker Hires Occupy Wall Street Protesters

Coinstar Inc. (CSTR)

Report: More Recent College Graduates Making Extra Money By Tutoring High School Teachers

JPMorgan Chase (JPM)

Remains Of Ancient Race Of Job Creators Found In Rust Belt

Department Of Treasury Releases New Monsters Of The Silver Screen 20 Dollar Bill

Wal-Mart Shutters New York Fashion Presence

U.S. To Offer Tax Incentives To Companies That Do Not Openly Make World Worse At Every Turn

Nation Finally Breaks Down And Begs Its Smart People To Just Fix Everything

AT&T (T)

Wall Street Executive Suffering Heart Attack Realizing Everyone Just Going To Let Him Die On Sidewalk

Stockwatch

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan