God Freaks Self Out By Lying Awake Contemplating Own Immortality
THE HEAVENS—Sources close to God reported Thursday that the Creator of the Universe and Author of Our Eternal Salvation suffered a crippling bout of ...
God Admits Humans Not Most Impressive Creation
'It's Mountains,' Says Divine Being
THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH—The Lord our God, Divine Creator and Ruler of the Universe, announced Wednesday that He considered mountains, not mankind, to ...
God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President
AUSTIN, TX—Describing Texas Gov. Rick Perry as grossly unqualified for the position, God, the Creator and Ruler of the Universe, urged Perry not to ...
NASA Completes 52-Year Mission To Find, Kill God
WASHINGTON—After more than five decades of tireless work, brave exploration, and technological innovation aimed at a single objective, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration ...
God Hinting At Retirement
THE HEAVENS—At a press conference Tuesday, God Almighty, our Lord and Heavenly Father, gave his strongest indication yet that he might soon step down ...
