Government Admits To Hiding Embarrassingly Lame 1973 Extraterrestrial Encounter

WASHINGTON—National Security Agency officials released a report this week detailing an exceedingly disappointing alien encounter that occurred in New Mexico nearly four decades ago.

Man Suspected Of Being Bumbling Spy

WASHINGTON—Citing his erratic social behaviors, sudden unexplained disappearances, nondescript occupation, and habit of accidentally walking off piers while pretending to read newspapers, acquaintances of ...

U.N. Evicted From Headquarters

'Disgusting' World Organization Illegally Housing 268 Feral Cats, Say City Officials

NEW YORK—Citing squalid conditions "unfit for human habitation," the New York City Department of Health confirmed Tuesday that the United Nations had been evicted ...

Department Of Interior Employee Caught Embezzling 50,000 Wolves

BILLINGS, MT—In what is being called the largest wildlife embezzlement scheme in more than 40 years, Department of Interior employee Stephen...

President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule

The press secretary tells reporters that before the president can defeat the monster, he'll have to defeat his greatest enemy of all: his own ...

CIA: America May Have An Unknown Number Of Secret Admirers

WASHINGTON—"There are people out there who love us, and they're coming after us," said a blushing John Michael McConnell, director of national intelligence.

U.S. Postal Service Destroyed By Four Reckless Teens In Car

WASHINGTON—The agency is seeking supplemental funding to clean up the letters, packages, and crushed Budweiser can the teens left in their wake.

Child On White House Tour Momentarily Seizes Control Of Nation

WASHINGTON, DC—Myers spent much of his reign, which lasted from approximately 2:00 p.m. to 2:15 p.m., spinning in circles in ...

Government Admits To Hiding Embarrassingly Lame 1973 Extraterrestrial Encounter

Man Suspected Of Being Bumbling Spy

U.N. Evicted From Headquarters

'Disgusting' World Organization Illegally Housing 268 Feral Cats, Say City Officials

Department Of Interior Employee Caught Embezzling 50,000 Wolves

President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule

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Nobody Touching Punch At CIA Christmas Party

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Mike Johanns Only One Showing Up To Cabinet Meetings Now

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Pentagon To Surround Self With Pentagon Decoys

Sunday Magazine

20 Students: Who Are Changing The World And What the FBI Has On Them

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FBI Agent’s Cover Blown By Own Jacket

Sunday Magazine

I Think You May Be Looking For The Other John McCain

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Top Safety Placards

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Reagan's Memory Honored With Sharp Increase In Federal Budget Deficit

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U.S. Mint Employee Disciplined For Putting Own Face On Nickels

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Dept. Of Transportation Discontinues 'Bridge Out 8 Feet Ahead' Sign

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Gay Comptroller Tired Of Being Referred To As 'That Gay Comptroller'

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New Instant Lottery Game Features Three Ways To Win, 19,839,947 Ways To Lose

CIA: America May Have An Unknown Number Of Secret Admirers

U.S. Postal Service Destroyed By Four Reckless Teens In Car

Child On White House Tour Momentarily Seizes Control Of Nation