healthcare

Paula Deen Sponsors .05K Walk For Diabetes Research 05.07.12

SAVANNAH, GA—Celebrity chef and restaurateur Paula Deen announced Monday that her recently launched Step for a Cure Foundation would host its first annual .05K fun walk on May 20 to raise money for Type 2 diabetes research. The star of the Food Netw... more»

Many Doctors Say It's 'High' Time To Legalize Marijuana (Season 1: Ep 3 on IFC) 09.07.11

Medical marijuana would certainly be "a kind bud" to those suffering from debilitating cancer. more»

Law Prohibits Nation's Shawnas From Using Tanning Beds 04.14.11

The Health and Human Services says that the country's Shawnas are "tan enough." more»

Department Of Health And Human Services Recommends Standing At Least Once A Day 01.31.11

WASHINGTON—As part of an ongoing campaign to promote physical fitness and well- being, the Department of Health and Human Services is urging all Americans to set aside time at least once a day to stand. more»

News

Paula Deen Sponsors .05K Walk For Diabetes Research
Video: Onion News Network On IFC

Many Doctors Say It's 'High' Time To Legalize Marijuana (Season 1: Ep 3 on IFC)
Video: Onion News Network On IFC

Law Prohibits Nation's Shawnas From Using Tanning Beds
News

Department Of Health And Human Services Recommends Standing At Least Once A Day

Backup Health Care Plan Involves Nation Sharing One Big Jar Of Ointment

ISSUE 48•14 | 04.04.12 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—In the event the Supreme Court strikes down the president's health care law, the Obama administration has prepared a contingency plan under which all 313 million Americans would share a single large jar of ointment, sources confirmed Tues... more»
Gross Doctors Recommend Drinking 8 Warm Cups Of Clam Juice A Day

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.20.12 | News in Brief

ATLANTA—A report released Friday by the Centers for Disease Control's Department of Gross Medicine concludes that people should consume eight cups of warm clam juice a day. more»
LASIK Surgery Allows Baron To See Without Monocle

ISSUE 47•50 ISSUE 47•43 | 10.29.11 | News in Brief

KÖNIGSBERG, EAST PRUSSIA—Baron Fritz von Friedrich VII, steward of Württemberg, told reporters Saturday that the LASIK surgery he recently underwent to correct the vision in his left eye has been an unmitigated success, allowing him to see... more»
Huffington Post Designer Steps Down To Seek Treatment For ADD, Schizophrenia, Cataracts

04.12.11 | Newswire
Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead

ISSUE 46•44 | 11.02.10 | Newsroom

A new scam preys on the elderly by informing them they have died and instructing them to reroute their social security checks to the "Department of the Dead." more»
Ritalin Gummies Unveiled

ISSUE 46•28 | 07.13.10 | Radio News
Vitamin B6 May Help Block Cancer

ISSUE 46•28 | 07.12.10 | American Voices

A new study found that smokers with higher levels of vitamin B6 in their system were less likely to contract lung cancer. more»
Health Care

ISSUE 46•27 | 07.08.10 | Slideshow
Adderall Receives Honorary Degree From Harvard

ISSUE 46•22 | 05.31.10 | News

CAMBRIDGE, MA—"Harvard is proud to honor the tremendous merits of Adderall, without which many of you would not be sitting here today," Faust said in her opening address to the nearly 1,900 unblinking and intensely focused students receiving their diplomas. more»
GOP Argues Against 9/11 Hero Care

ISSUE 46•21 | 05.27.10 | American Voices

Saying it might help people who were undeserving, Republican congressmen spoke out against a proposed health care program for rescue workers who responded to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. more»
I Still Ain't Sure About This Socialism Medicine

ISSUE 46•16 | 04.22.10 | Commentary

Hola, amigos. How's tricks? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been chasing my tail like a retard dog these days. I've been working plenty of hours at the warehouse discount place. more»
Passage Of Health Care Reform Brings Democrat-Republican Score To 317,622-318,047

ISSUE 46•16 | 04.20.10 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—With their legislative victory on health care last month, Democrats narrowed by one point the gap in their 150-year-long competition with Republicans, bringing the current score between the rival political parties to 317,622-318,047. more»
Republicans, Leukemia Team Up To Repeal Health Care Law

ISSUE 46•14 | 04.08.10 | News

WASHINGTON—In the coming weeks, Republicans and leukemia will travel the country in an effort to diminish support for the increasingly popular bill, which GOP sources said goes against everything that Republicans and the massive accumulation of toxic cells stand for. more»
Obama Visits Kindergarten To Read Class 200-Page Memorandum On Health Care

ISSUE 46•11 | 03.16.10 | News in Brief

MIAMI—As part of a new program designed to encourage reading, President Barack Obama visited a kindergarten class Monday to read the... more»
Marijuana Use Triples Among Gary

ISSUE 46•11 | 03.15.10 | News

COLUMBUS, OH—Department of Health and Human Services researchers are attributing the spike in cannabis consumption among 26-year-old Gary to a number of troubling factors, including Gary-related underemployment, decreased motivation, and prolonged exposure to Josh. more»
My Constituents Care Way More About Political Gamesmanship Than Jobs, Health Care, And The Economy

ISSUE 46•09 | 03.02.10 | Commentary

It is my responsibility as an elected official to look out for the people back home, the voters who sent me to Washington. So, after 20 years... more»
Alzheimer's Disease Causing Baby Boomers To Misremember 1960s Even More

ISSUE 46•05 | 02.04.10 | News

PALO ALTO, CA—Alzheimer's researchers at Stanford University published a study this week showing that the degenerative brain disease is beginning to affect the baby boomer generation, causing many to remember the 1960s even less accurately than they normally would. more»
Health & Wellness

ISSUE 44•38 | 01.01.10 | Slideshow
Like Hell I'm Going To Let Some Black President Help Me Pay For Dialysis

ISSUE 45•48 | 11.24.09 | Commentary

I take pride in who I am. Always have, always will. I've worked hard my whole life and have never taken anyone's charity, and I'm not about to... more»
Obama's Declaration Of Swine Flu Emergency Prompts Pro-Swine-Flu Republican Response

ISSUE 45•44 | 10.28.09 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—Claiming that the president was preying on the public's fear of contracting a fatal disease last week when he declared the H1N1... more»
Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed

ISSUE 45•41 | 10.06.09 | News

WASHINGTON—"If your grandmother would rather be euthanized in the privacy of her own home than be gutted and hanged on a high school soccer field, she is entitled to that right," said the president, who acknowledged that "wiping out" the nation's elderly population has always been his No. 1 priority. more»
RNC's Health Scare Tactics

ISSUE 45•36 | 09.01.09 | American Voices

A recent fundraising mailer for the Republican National Committee was accompanied by a questionnaire which intimated that any health care reform may... more»
Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care

ISSUE 45•34 | 08.18.09 | News

WASHINGTON—"It is our responsibility to put differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. more»
Researchers Quietly Chuckling At Placebo Group

ISSUE 45•29 | 07.14.09 | News in Brief

NEW YORK—Researchers at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine were hardly able to stifle their laughter Tuesday while administering a placebo... more»
20 Million Americans Without Health Care Attend Painful, Labored March On Washington

ISSUE 45•23 | 06.02.09 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—With Congress once again turning its attention to health care reform, millions of uninsured Americans made their hoarse and... more»

healthcare

Paula Deen Sponsors .05K Walk For Diabetes Research 05.07.12

Many Doctors Say It's 'High' Time To Legalize Marijuana (Season 1: Ep 3 on IFC) 09.07.11

Law Prohibits Nation's Shawnas From Using Tanning Beds 04.14.11

Department Of Health And Human Services Recommends Standing At Least Once A Day 01.31.11

News

Video: Onion News Network On IFC

Video: Onion News Network On IFC

News

Infographic

News in Photos

News in Photos

Backup Health Care Plan Involves Nation Sharing One Big Jar Of Ointment

Gross Doctors Recommend Drinking 8 Warm Cups Of Clam Juice A Day

LASIK Surgery Allows Baron To See Without Monocle

Huffington Post Designer Steps Down To Seek Treatment For ADD, Schizophrenia, Cataracts

Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead

Ritalin Gummies Unveiled

Vitamin B6 May Help Block Cancer

Health Care

Adderall Receives Honorary Degree From Harvard

GOP Argues Against 9/11 Hero Care

I Still Ain't Sure About This Socialism Medicine

Passage Of Health Care Reform Brings Democrat-Republican Score To 317,622-318,047

Republicans, Leukemia Team Up To Repeal Health Care Law

Obama Visits Kindergarten To Read Class 200-Page Memorandum On Health Care

Marijuana Use Triples Among Gary

My Constituents Care Way More About Political Gamesmanship Than Jobs, Health Care, And The Economy

Alzheimer's Disease Causing Baby Boomers To Misremember 1960s Even More

Health & Wellness

Like Hell I'm Going To Let Some Black President Help Me Pay For Dialysis

Obama's Declaration Of Swine Flu Emergency Prompts Pro-Swine-Flu Republican Response

Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed

RNC's Health Scare Tactics

Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care

Researchers Quietly Chuckling At Placebo Group

20 Million Americans Without Health Care Attend Painful, Labored March On Washington

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan