Cost Of Freedom At All-Time High

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Monday, the cost of American freedom has soared from its previous 1779 high of bravery,...

U.S. To Re-Hang Saddam Hussein

WASHINGTON, DC—The re-hanging, which will be aired on all major networks, will be "brighter, cheerier, and more upbeat" than the first anticlimactic attempt.