CHICAGO—Gathering as much information on the residence as she could during the fleeting window of opportunity, local woman Kerry Egan was offered a brief, beguiling glimpse of the inside of the next-door apartment Monday upon arriving home at the same time as her neighbor.
WAVERLY, NE—Listening as the haggard messenger spoke of ominous clouds upon the horizon, local fourth-grade teacher Myra Helms received a dark portent of a gathering storm from pale and bedraggled third-grade teacher Beverly Milfay, sources confirmed Thursday.
GOODING, ID—In an effort to more accurately assess how hot the food item would be once he began eating it, local man Barney Randolph on Friday reportedly factored the addition of ketchup into his calculation of a french fry’s final temperature.
BOSTON—Citing her growing irritation with the tasks assigned to her and the festering sense of disdain she harbors toward many of her coworkers, a report issued Friday confirmed that today is finally the day that local woman Samantha King either quits her job or goes home and watches four hours of Netflix on her couch.
RICHARDSON, TX—Upon observing a couple examining the furniture item with apparent interest, area man Aaron Eakins, who would have been a formidable and revered warrior had he lived 4,000 years ago, approached the pair and told them it was his bestselling love seat, sources said Thursday.