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    Tim Pawlenty Shaves Off Every Hair On His Body In Really Weird Campaign Gaffe

    DES MOINES, IA—In what political insiders are calling one of the weirdest campaign gaffes in history, Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty shaved every single ...

    New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend

    PHILADELPHIA—Historians at the University of Pennsylvania announced the discovery this week of a personal diary from the late 18th century that reveals the first ...

    20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day

    WASHINGTON—"It's going to be so romantic!" said Brooklyn resident Lydia Simonson, who along with hundreds of thousands of citizens will soon excuse herself ...

    CNBC: 'Anyone Who Owns A Suit Can Come On Television'

    ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ—Citing a need to provide quality programming 24 hours a day, CNBC has extended an invitation to anyone who owns a suit...

    Rush Limbaugh Tucks Shirt Back In Following Animated Flat Tax Rant

    WEST PALM BEACH, FL—While ferociously laying into what he calls the "liberal jihad against the flat tax," conservative pundit and talk radio...

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    CHARLOTTE, NC–After two and a half years of subtle prodding and manipulation, Jill Nickles has finally molded boyfriend Brendan Eiler into the sort of ...

    Unkempt Japanese Man Must Be Some Sort Of Artist Or Something

    PITTSBURGH– After passing a haggard-looking Japanese man on the street Monday, area resident Gary Webber concluded that the guy must be some sort of artist ...

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