morality

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year 02.09.12

Number Astronomically High For Harmonious, Postracial 21st-Century America, Researchers Say

NEW YORK—A shocking study released Thursday by sociologists at Columbia University found that more than 12 instances of racism occurred in 2011, suggesting not only that prejudice based on the color of one's skin still exists, but that it remains di... more»

Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous 12.02.11

SYRACUSE, NY—After the dismissal of Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine and the arrest of former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, the nation's yet-to-be-caught pedophile coaches expressed nervousness Friday that any on... more»

Report: It All Some Kind Of Sick Joke 11.09.11

PRINCETON, NJ—According to a new report published this week, researchers at Princeton University and the Institute for Advanced Study have definitively concluded that it—all of it—is some kind of sick joke. The comprehensive study, which... more»

Mexico Killed In Drug Deal 09.20.10

MEXICO CITY—In the latest incident of drug-related violence to hit the country, all 111 million citizens of Mexico were killed Monday during a shoot-out between rival drug cartels. more»

News

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year
Sports News in Brief

Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous
News

Report: It All Some Kind Of Sick Joke
News

Mexico Killed In Drug Deal

New Study Finds Humans May Have Some Capacity For Compassion

ISSUE 48•05 | 02.02.12 | News in Brief

TUCSON, AZ—A University of Arizona study published this week in the American Journal Of Sociology suggests that some adult humans may occasionally feel compassion, a trait scientists have long considered beyond the capacity of the species. more»
Teen Sexting Not As Prevalent As Thought

ISSUE 47•49 | 12.07.11 | American Voices

A study published in the journal Pediatrics revealed that only one in 100 teens had sent nude or sexually explicit images via phone, as opposed to the previous estimate of one in five. more»
U.S. Horse Slaughter To Resume

ISSUE 47•48 | 12.01.11 | American Voices

A five-year ban on the butchering of horses for meat has expired, meaning slaughterhouses can once more process horses for human consumption. more»
Canada Keeps Marijuana Illegal

ISSUE 47•48 | 11.29.11 | American Voices

Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper announced last week he would not decriminalize and tax marijuana, despite calls to do so from the current mayor and four former mayors of Vancouver. more»
New 'Do Not Kill' Registry To Allow Americans To Opt Out Of Being Murdered

ISSUE 46•39 | 09.27.10 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—A bipartisan coalition of U.S. Congress members announced Tuesday the creation of the nationwide "Do Not Kill" Registry, which gives citizens the convenience of choosing whether or not they would like to be violently murdered. more»
When You Think McDonough's Auto Repair, You Think Craftsmanship, Murder, And Pride

ISSUE 46•35 | 08.31.10 | Commentary

For more than 75 years, McDonough's Auto Repair has been part of a proud tradition—a tradition of quality, reliability, affordable service for the hard-working folks of Montchester, murder, and, most importantly, pride in a hard day's work. more»
Study: Abstinence-Only Lunch Programs Ineffective At Combating Teen Obesity

ISSUE 45•31 | 07.27.09 | News

WASHINGTON—“As children grow and their bodies develop, they’re going to have certain metabolic urges that are impossible to suppress,” said Dr. Beth Garcia. more»
Film About Little Guy Battling Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization Made By Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization

ISSUE 45•25 | 06.15.09 | News in Brief

LOS ANGELES—A new motion picture about a resilient underdog who somehow finds the courage to take on a giant, faceless corporation was... more»
Abortion Doctor's Murder Sparks Waves Of Calm, Rational Discussion

ISSUE 45•24 | 06.05.09 | News in Brief

WICHITA, KS—The cold-blooded murder of late-term abortion doctor George Tiller, 67, who was gunned down last week by a pro-life activist... more»
Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion

ISSUE 45•15 | 04.06.09 | News

VATICAN CITY—"In his unending mercy, the Lord hath come unto me one night and he hath said, 'This is totally an option now," proclaimed an anxious Pope Benedict. more»
Dept. Of Evil: 'All Of You Must Die'

ISSUE 43•20 | 05.14.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—The department warned that all necks would feel the steely bite of its soul-thirsty axe as soon as funding is approved. more»
Area Man Just Wants To Throw One Good Punch In His Life

ISSUE 43•14 | 04.06.07 | News

SACRAMENTO, CA—"I want to make a guy's head snap back like in the movies," said local resident Carl Hilland, who hopes to one day throw a straight right hand without looking foolish. more»
Proud Cystic-Fibrosis Foundation Doesn't Need Your Charity

ISSUE 42•41 | 10.09.06 | News

AITKIN, MN—A Dream To Breathe Foundation reasserted its status as a "non-profit organization" and expressed embarrassment at unnecessary "handouts." more»
Old Gypsy Woman Run Over Without Consequence

ISSUE 42•29 | 07.19.06 | News in Brief

CHICAGO—Area motorist Moe Balaczs is not showing any signs of weight loss, suppurating lesions, dementia, blindness, or any other grave... more»
Report: 92 Percent Of Souls In Hell There On Drug Charges

ISSUE 41•41 | 10.12.05 | News

HELL—A report by the Afterlife Civil Liberties Union claims that nine out of 10 souls in Hell were condemned on drug-related sins. more»
Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index

ISSUE 45•01 ISSUE 41•35 | 08.31.05 | News

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to "organize the world's information," announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. more»
Alvin Shunned By Animal Community, Forced To Wear Scarlet 'A'

ISSUE 40•39 | 09.29.04 | News

PASADENA, CA—Well-known frontman for Alvin & The Chipmunks, the singing group that included his brothers Simon and Theodore, Alvin Seville is adored by millions for his intricate vocals on such playful songs as "Alvin's Harmonica" and "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)." The chipmunk celebrates his 70th birthday this month, as well as his 46th year bearing the scarlet letter "A"—the mark of shame that reminds members of the animal kingdom that he is an actor who has adopted the ways of humankind. more»
U.S. To Fight Terror With Terror

ISSUE 40•20 | 05.19.04 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—In a response to recent acts of extreme violence against Americans in Iraq and mounting criticism of U.S. military policy at home, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced the government's new strategy of fighting terror with terror Monday. more»
Moral Compass Lost In Woods

ISSUE 39•42 | 10.29.03 | News in Photos
Tribesman Guilted Into Attending Friend's Boundary Dance

ISSUE 39•40 | 10.15.03 | News

KOROMA, PAPUA NEW GUINEA—Huli tribesman Olene, 32, expressed annoyance Tuesday after being "guilt-tripped" into agreeing to attend his friend Gumaiba's boundary dance. more»
Minister Constantly Mentioning Teenage Son's Virginity

ISSUE 39•25 | 07.02.03 | News

PENSACOLA, FL—Much to his son Paul's chagrin, minister Donald Genzler takes every possible opportunity to proudly inform members of Faith United Presbyterian Church that the 16-year-old is still a virgin, "unspoiled by sins of the flesh," sources reported Tuesday. more»
Moral Tacked Onto End Of Man's Life

ISSUE 39•08 | 03.05.03 | News in Brief

NORTH PLATTE, NE—Immediately following his death Tuesday, a moral was hastily tacked onto the life of North Platte resident Roy Brooks. "As Roy's life plainly illustrated, you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar," said Rev. Paul Winters, speaking from Brooks' death bed at St. Augustus Memorial Hospital. "If there's anything this man taught us, it is surely that." Responding to the statement, Brooks' loved ones agreed that they had learned a valuable lesson. more»
Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad

ISSUE 38•46 | 12.11.02 | News

LYNDONVILLE, VT—Afflicted from birth with a rare degenerative disease, wheelchair-bound Luke Petrowski has confronted his illness by penning heartfelt verse that touches on elements vital to our lives: love, spirituality, courage, grace, and hope. more»
Would You Like To Give A Dollar To Prove You Don't Hate Crippled Kids?

ISSUE 38•40 | 10.30.02 | Commentary

Good afternoon, sir. Do you have a minute to discuss something of vital importance? I'm canvassing this neighborhood collecting donations for the Tersbury Group. We're an organization dedicated to helping mentally and physically handicapped children here in the community lead better lives. If you don't mind my being blunt, sir, may I ask whether you hate crippled kids? Wonderful, I'm so glad I was right about you. Now, would you be willing to donate a dollar to our organization to prove that you don't? more»
New Mistress Seems To Be Good For Area Man

ISSUE 38•38 | 10.16.02 | News

KIRKWOOD, MO—Len Stavros, 46, is a whole new man since he began dating new mistress Amanda Broder, sources reported Tuesday. more»

morality

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year 02.09.12

Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous 12.02.11

Report: It All Some Kind Of Sick Joke 11.09.11

Mexico Killed In Drug Deal 09.20.10

News

Sports News in Brief

News

News

Statshot

Sunday Magazine

News in Photos

New Study Finds Humans May Have Some Capacity For Compassion

Teen Sexting Not As Prevalent As Thought

U.S. Horse Slaughter To Resume

Canada Keeps Marijuana Illegal

New 'Do Not Kill' Registry To Allow Americans To Opt Out Of Being Murdered

When You Think McDonough's Auto Repair, You Think Craftsmanship, Murder, And Pride

Study: Abstinence-Only Lunch Programs Ineffective At Combating Teen Obesity

Film About Little Guy Battling Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization Made By Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organization

Abortion Doctor's Murder Sparks Waves Of Calm, Rational Discussion

Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion

Dept. Of Evil: 'All Of You Must Die'

Area Man Just Wants To Throw One Good Punch In His Life

Proud Cystic-Fibrosis Foundation Doesn't Need Your Charity

Old Gypsy Woman Run Over Without Consequence

Report: 92 Percent Of Souls In Hell There On Drug Charges

Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index

Alvin Shunned By Animal Community, Forced To Wear Scarlet 'A'

U.S. To Fight Terror With Terror

Moral Compass Lost In Woods

Tribesman Guilted Into Attending Friend's Boundary Dance

Minister Constantly Mentioning Teenage Son's Virginity

Moral Tacked Onto End Of Man's Life

Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad

Would You Like To Give A Dollar To Prove You Don't Hate Crippled Kids?

New Mistress Seems To Be Good For Area Man

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan