Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following 'Dear Abby' Writer's Death

MINNEAPOLIS—Following the death of 94-year-old “Dear Abby” columnist Pauline Phillips, the nation reportedly plunged into complete and utter moral chaos today, with thousands of ...

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year

Number Astronomically High For Harmonious, Postracial 21st-Century America, Researchers Say

NEW YORK—A shocking study released Thursday by sociologists at Columbia University found that more than 12 instances of racism occurred in 2011, suggesting not ...

New Study Finds Humans May Have Some Capacity For Compassion

TUCSON, AZ—A University of Arizona study published this week in the American Journal Of Sociology suggests that some adult humans may occasionally feel compassion ...

Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous

SYRACUSE, NY—After the dismissal of Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine and the arrest of former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, the ...

Report: It All Some Kind Of Sick Joke

PRINCETON, NJ—According to a new report published this week, researchers at Princeton University and the Institute for Advanced Study have definitively concluded that it ...

Proud Cystic-Fibrosis Foundation Doesn't Need Your Charity

AITKIN, MN—A Dream To Breathe Foundation reasserted its status as a "non-profit organization" and expressed embarrassment at unnecessary "handouts."

Old Gypsy Woman Run Over Without Consequence

CHICAGO—Area motorist Moe Balaczs is not showing any signs of weight loss, suppurating lesions, dementia, blindness, or any other grave...

Report: 92 Percent Of Souls In Hell There On Drug Charges

HELL—A report by the Afterlife Civil Liberties Union claims that nine out of 10 souls in Hell were condemned on drug-related sins.

Nation Descends Into Utter Moral Chaos Following 'Dear Abby' Writer's Death

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year

Number Astronomically High For Harmonious, Postracial 21st-Century America, Researchers Say

New Study Finds Humans May Have Some Capacity For Compassion

Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous

Report: It All Some Kind Of Sick Joke

Statshot

What Is The Moral Of The Story?

Sunday Magazine

Natural Childbirth: How Morally Superior Does It Make You?

News in Photos

Morning After Morning After Pill Re-Impregnates Guilt-Ridden Women

News in Photos

Moral Compass Lost In Woods

News in Photos

Magical Girlfriend Transmutes Guilt Into Precious Stones

Proud Cystic-Fibrosis Foundation Doesn't Need Your Charity

Old Gypsy Woman Run Over Without Consequence

Report: 92 Percent Of Souls In Hell There On Drug Charges