Local Family Homeless After Tornado Destroys White House

'We've Lost Everything,' Family Says

WASHINGTON—"My God, just look at this," the 48-year-old government employee said as he surveyed the splintered furniture and mangled chandeliers that littered the 18-acre ...

Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'

PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI—Less than two weeks after converging upon the site of a devastating magnitude 7.0 earthquake, American anthropologists have confirmed the discovery of ...

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.

Mildfires Amble Through California

OJAI, CA—A series of mildfires ambled casually through California this week, lazily threatening nearby homes, warming helpless wildlife, and...

San Francisco Historians Condemn 1906 Earthquake Deniers

SAN FRANCISCO—Avowed earthquake denier William Pletcher believes the so-called 'violent shift in the earth's tectonic plates' is nothing more than a thinly veiled ...

Tennessee Helpless Against New Basement Tornadoes

MEMPHIS—Meteorologists have measured basement winds at speeds of up to 200 mph—powerful enough to drive a box of dryer sheets six inches into ...

Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons

WASHINGTON, DC—Autumn, which had been slotted between summer and winter, will be replaced by stifling humidity, constant sunshine, and little precipitation.

It Only Tuesday

WASHINGTON, DC—Tuesday's arrival stunned a nation still recovering from Monday's nightmarish slog, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going ...

Local Family Homeless After Tornado Destroys White House

'We've Lost Everything,' Family Says

Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

Mildfires Amble Through California

San Francisco Historians Condemn 1906 Earthquake Deniers

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Aftershock A Real 'Fuck You' To Earthquake Victims

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What's The Worst That Could Happen?

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Leading Contaminants In New Orleans Water

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Terri Schiavo's Corpse Blown Away By Hurricane

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Tsunami Death Toll Rises To 36 Americans

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Wildfire Somehow Rages Back Into Control

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Old El Paso Introduces Emergency Taco Kit

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Mudslide Kind Of Fun Until The Dying Part

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Out Of Respect For Families, Horrific Disaster Footage Repeated Hourly

Tennessee Helpless Against New Basement Tornadoes

Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons

It Only Tuesday