Magnanimous Banker Hires Occupy Wall Street Protesters

'I Like Your Pluck!' Says Gracious Plutocrat

NEW YORK—Saying the recently arrested protesters had just the right kind of tenacity and pluck needed to shake up the financial services industry, magnanimous ...

Bank Executives On 15th Floor Gambling On Which Occupy Wall Street Protester Will Be Arrested Next

NEW YORK—Peering down from their 15th-floor boardroom onto the Occupy Wall Street encampment in Lower Manhattan's Zuccotti Park, executives at the financial services ...

Nation Waiting For Protesters To Clearly Articulate Demands Before Ignoring Them

NEW YORK—As the Occupy Wall Street protest expands and grows into a nationwide movement, Americans are eagerly awaiting a list of demands from the ...

President's Approval Rating Soars After Punching Wall Street Banker in Face

As featured on last night's "Onion News Network" on IFC, President Obama is back on top after cleaning the clock of a smug Wall ...