Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear - Year In Review
This week, The Onion Review takes a look back at some of the most important news stories that shaped our lives in 2011.
Bank Executives On 15th Floor Gambling On Which Occupy Wall Street Protester Will Be Arrested Next
NEW YORK—Peering down from their 15th-floor boardroom onto the Occupy Wall Street encampment in Lower Manhattan's Zuccotti Park, executives at the financial services ...
Huntsman Quietly Relieved To Be Polling Poorly Among GOP Voters
'These People Scare The Bejeezus Out Of Me,' Says Candidate
SALT LAKE CITY—With a recent Gallup poll indicating only 2 percent of his party supports his candidacy for president, Jon Huntsman confided to staffers ...
New Facebook Feature Allows User To Cancel Account
PALO ALTO, CA—In its ongoing effort to enrich the way people connect and interact, social media website Facebook introduced a new feature Monday that ...
LASIK Surgery Allows Baron To See Without Monocle
KÖNIGSBERG, EAST PRUSSIA—Baron Fritz von Friedrich VII, steward of Württemberg, told reporters Saturday that the LASIK surgery he recently underwent to correct ...
