Restoration Of 'Star Spangled Banner' Uncovers Horrifying New Verses
Susan Eckman from The National Archives comes on Today Now! to share newly discovered National Anthem verses about brutally decapitating enemies during the War of ...
Last Time Sources Checked This Still America
WASHINGTON—All across the country, from Maine to Mississippi, sources confirmed this week that last time they checked this was still America, and would remain ...
U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths
WASHINGTON—Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed ...
Redcoat Holdouts Still Fighting American Revolution
GREAT BROOK FARM STATE PARK, MA—"'Tis has been a long and bitter struggle with our foolhardy American cousins," said 2nd Lt. Henry Bertram of ...
Nation Secretly Hoping 9/11 Becomes A Day Off Soon
WASHINGTON—After spending another anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks at work, many across the country have begun to secretly hope...
