Heartbreaking Yelp Review Says It’s Just Nice To Eat A Meal Around Other People
SOUTH BEND, IN—In an exceedingly depressing review posted Monday on the popular website Yelp, a user identified as Gregg4 gave five stars to local ...
Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police'
'Doesn't Matter Who, Doesn't Matter Where,' Children Say
UNIVERSITY PARK, PA—In the wake of the sex abuse scandal that rocked Penn State earlier this month, a coalition of 10-year-old boys from across ...
Civilization To Hold Off On Having Any More Kids For A While
'Let's Just See How We're Doing In A Few Years' Humanity Decides
PLANET EARTH—Facing what it called "a lot of uncertainty" on all six inhabited continents, the global civilization of the species Homo sapiens released a ...
FDA To Increase Recommended Dosage Of Acetaminophen For Children Who Can Handle Their Shit
WASHINGTON—The Food and Drug Administration announced Friday that it has approved an increase in the recommended dosage of acetaminophen for children who can hack ...
Man With Apple Hovering In Front Of Face Sues René Magritte's Estate
TACOMA, WA—Michael Renfro, a 68-year-old retired CPA with an apple hovering in front of his face, announced Monday that he has filed a $15...
