Pet Eating Like Country Isn't In Goddamn Recession
RICHMOND, IN—Apparently heedless of the dismal fiscal climate, local dog Digby is wolfing down kibble as though the United States isn't limping its ...
Area Woman Wouldn't Mind Feeding Your Cats
HARTFORD, CT—"It's really no hassle," Sarah Dobbs, 44, said. "If you're gone and need someone to drop in on them, I'd ...
Hamster Thrown From Remote-Control Monster Truck
MILTON, MA—Tragedy was narrowly averted in the Bourke household Monday, when Harry, the family's pet hamster, was violently thrown from the 4" by ...
Nation's Dogs Dangerously Underpetted, Say Dogs
NEW YORK—At a press conference Monday, representatives of the Association of American Dogs announced that the nation's canines are dangerously underpetted. "Every night ...
Parrot's Previous Owner Obviously Watched A Lot Of The Price Is Right
POPLAR BLUFF, MO— According to Kenneth Childs, the new owner of Crackers, an African gray parrot, the previous owner must have watched a tremendous amount ...
