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    Anaheim Police Chief John Welter: 'Look, Our Job Is To Shoot People'

    ANAHEIM, CA—As protests over a pair of fatal weekend shootings by Anaheim Police entered their fifth day, law enforcement officials continued Thursday to ignore ...

    Cop Grudgingly Admits Suspect Is The Best Goddamn Pedophile He's Seen In 30 Years On The Force

    LOS ANGELES—Veteran LAPD detective James Russo, 49, reluctantly admitted to reporters Thursday that the pedophile he is currently on the trail of is the ...

    Cops Cleared On Corruption Charges After Implicating Decorated Police Dog

    SARATOGA, NY—Less than 24 hours after being promoted to staff sergeant within the corruption-plagued Saratoga Police Department, decorated canine unit dog Chips was implicated ...

    Florida Police Warn Public Against Taking Law Into Own Hands Unless It’s That Law Specifically Designed For You To Do That

    SANFORD, FL—Amidst the controversy surrounding the recent shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, the Sanford Police Department cautioned Florida residents Tuesday against taking the ...

    Police Report: Sexual Assault Numbers Under Control, Unless You Count The Super Brutal Ones

    LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Police Department confirmed Friday that incidences of sexual assault in 2010 have plummeted to record lows, that is, if one ...

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      Rookie Told To Ease Up On Crime-Scene Tape

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      DEA Seizes Half-Built Suspension Bridge From Bogotá To Miami

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      New York's Finest Protect New York's Richest

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      Former High-School Bully Pulls You Over For Speeding

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      Police Seize 250 Pounds of Marijuana Smoker

    Autopsy Reveals Subject Was Still Alive When Autopsy Began

    MERIWETHER, MT—County coroner James Hextall announced Monday that a thorough autopsy of C. W. Milodragovitch, a local tavern owner pulled from an automobile accident ...

    Veteran Cop Gets Along Great With Rookie Partner

    LOS ANGELES—Hard-boiled narcotics officer Vincent Tate is having so much fun with the new recruit, he "may never retire."

    Iraqi Cop Moonlighting As Terrorist Just To Make Ends Meet

    BAGHDAD—Sulieman Hassim, an Iraqi policeman, has taken on a second job as a terrorist in order to stay afloat financially.

    • What's On Tonight?: And now the story of an acclaimed comedy that got canceled, and the streaming service that had no choice but to put it back together--it's Arrested Development

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