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    Congress Fiercely Divided Over Completely Blank Bill That Says And Does Nothing

    WASHINGTON—A blank piece of legislation that says nothing, does nothing, and contains no text whatsoever has been the source of heated debate in Washington ...

    Biden Has Guy Named Worm Sit In For Him At Cabinet Meeting

    WASHINGTON—Claiming that he had “a major shitstorm” he had to deal with, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly had a guy named Worm sit in ...

    Proposed Legislation Offers Citizenship To Immigrants Who Can Play Piano So Good It Makes Everyone Cry

    WASHINGTON—The continued efforts of lawmakers to overhaul the nation’s immigration system gained considerable momentum Wednesday when House Speaker John Boehner announced that he ...

    Man With Widely Circulated Penis Pictures Not The Most Humiliated Person At Podium

    NEW YORK—Announcing his decision to remain in the New York City mayoral race, a man whose self-taken cell phone photographs of his penis have ...

    Tiny Advisor Who Lived In Obama’s Ear Dead At 83

    WASHINGTON—Robert Linder, a miniature man who was among the closest and most trusted advisors to President Barack Obama and several past U.S.

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      Arlen Specter Switches Affiliation From Alive To Dead At Last Minute

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    Michele Bachmann Figures Why Not, Introduces Homosexual-Beheading Bill

    WASHINGTON—Saying that she’ll be gone soon anyway so she might as well, Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann introduced H.R.

    George W. Bush Having Trouble Finding Decent Cocaine Since Leaving White House

    CRAWFORD, TX—Citing his dramatically reduced level of influence and his separation from old acquaintances in Washington, former president George W.

    Michele Bachmann: ‘God Wants Me To Earn 7 Figures For A Lobbying Firm’

    WASHINGTON—Saying that it’s the Lord’s will, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann announced on her website Wednesday that she has decided not to seek ...

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