WASHINGTON—According to a poll released Friday by the Pew Research Center, 23 percent of Americans would vote for Jeb Bush in the presidential election if the Republican candidate was standing directly beside them in the voting booth.
CHARLESTON, SC—Declaring that opening the nation’s doors to displaced Syrians posed a major security threat, GOP leaders warned Tuesday that any refugees who resettled in the U.S. would most likely be driven to terrorism by the way America treats them.
WASHINGTON—Sitting Indian-style on the Senate floor surrounded by Magic Markers, crayons, and construction paper, members of Congress spent the afternoon in a special session Monday drawing pictures of their dream Capitols, sources reported.
MILWAUKEE—Interrupted midway through answering a question about how he would reform the nation’s tax code, Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul was reportedly escorted off stage roughly an hour into Tuesday’s GOP primary debate after falling below the minimum 2.5 percent polling threshold necessary for participating in the forum.
MILWAUKEE—Saying his struggle was illustrative of how our economic system has failed countless hardworking Americans over the past 20 years, Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina shared a heartbreaking story at Tuesday night’s GOP primary debate about a father of three who simply couldn’t meet his sales goals.
GOP presidential frontrunner Ben Carson is currently under fire for claims he’s made about his past in books and interviews, many of which journalists have alleged are fabricated or skewed in the candidate’s favor. The Onion breaks down what’s truth and what’s fiction.
MANCHESTER, NH—Reportedly cupping his hands around his eyes for a better look at the cheerful volunteers inside, presidential hopeful Lindsey Graham gazed longingly into the window of fellow candidate Marco Rubio’s bustling New Hampshire campaign headquarters Thursday.
WASHINGTON—Calmly stating that they would not even need to think twice about doing so, the nation’s wealthiest individuals ominously reminded the populace during a press conference Wednesday that they could easily drop another $10 billion on the 2016 election.
WASHINGTON—Instructing his colleagues to take a good, long look at what happens to consensus seekers, Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX) publicly displayed the impaled body of a fellow senator at the entrance to the Capitol building Thursday as a warning to anyone thinking about crossing party lines.
WASHINGTON—Moving a 19th-century armchair away from the mahogany-paneled wall as he rearranged his new office Wednesday, recently elected House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly stumbled upon a half-finished escape tunnel leading out of the Speaker’s chambers.