New Iranian President Really Impressed With Country’s Nuclear Arms Program

TEHRAN—After touring various energy plants and fusion reactors throughout the country, newly elected Iranian President Hasan Rowhani told reporters Monday that he is incredibly ...

GOP: ‘We Support Our Nation’s 11 Million Latino Criminals’

'These Lawbreakers Are Part Of Our Country’s Rich Tapestry'

WASHINGTON—As the debate over immigration reform continues in Congress, members of the Republican Party on Tuesday voiced their unequivocal support for the nation’s ...

Obama Administration Releases Nation’s Phone Records To Public

‘We Are Making Every Effort To Be Transparent,’ Says President

WASHINGTON—On the heels of reports that the National Security Agency has secretly been amassing the private telephone records of Verizon’s more than 120 ...

Michele Bachmann Figures Why Not, Introduces Homosexual-Beheading Bill

WASHINGTON—Saying that she’ll be gone soon anyway so she might as well, Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann introduced H.R.

George W. Bush Having Trouble Finding Decent Cocaine Since Leaving White House

CRAWFORD, TX—Citing his dramatically reduced level of influence and his separation from old acquaintances in Washington, former president George W.

The Onion Urges Barack Obama To Come Clean About The Basilisk Project

This week, President Barack Obama and his administration have come under fire from political opponents seeking an explanation for the White House’s alleged complicity ...

Obama Supporter Has Perfectly Improbable Explanation Absolving President From Blame For Scandals

CORTLAND, NY—Amid mounting scrutiny over scandals involving last September’s attack on the U.S.

Sasha Obama Suspicious After Doing A Little Digging Around On Benghazi

WASHINGTON—Saying that none of the facts quite add up, first daughter Sasha Obama, 11, reported being “highly suspicious” today after poking around the details ...

New Iranian President Really Impressed With Country’s Nuclear Arms Program

GOP: ‘We Support Our Nation’s 11 Million Latino Criminals’

'These Lawbreakers Are Part Of Our Country’s Rich Tapestry'

Obama Administration Releases Nation’s Phone Records To Public

‘We Are Making Every Effort To Be Transparent,’ Says President

Michele Bachmann Figures Why Not, Introduces Homosexual-Beheading Bill

George W. Bush Having Trouble Finding Decent Cocaine Since Leaving White House

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Philanderer Taken Back

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Obama A Little Creeped Out By How Much Everyone In Kenya Celebrating Reelection Victory

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As Per Tradition, Election Results Officially Certified With Two Barks Of Approval From Electoral Collie

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Romney Enchants Nation With Lovely Concession Song

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Wolf Blitzer Debuts New Real-Time Election Results Beard

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Ashes Of Deceased Presidents Rubbed Upon Voters' Heads In Hallowed Election Day Tradition

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Romney Rolls Sleeves All The Way Up Over His Head

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Romney Campaign Releases New Picture Of Candidate Standing In Situation Room During Bin Laden Raid

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Insufferable 8-Year-Old Won't Stop Chanting 'Romney'

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New Romney Ad Claims Candidate Does Not Oppose Women In Cases Of Rape, Incest

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Arlen Specter Switches Affiliation From Alive To Dead At Last Minute

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Paul Ryan Smiles, Thumbs Up Way Through Question About Specificity Of Tax Plan

The Onion Urges Barack Obama To Come Clean About The Basilisk Project

Obama Supporter Has Perfectly Improbable Explanation Absolving President From Blame For Scandals

Sasha Obama Suspicious After Doing A Little Digging Around On Benghazi