Obama's Hillbilly Half-Brother Threatening To Derail Campaign
BOONEVILLE, KY—A number of groups withdrew financial support after Cooter Obama punched a swan in the face and mistook Sen. John Kerry for an ...
Mob Not Angry At Monster, Just Disappointed
CEAMURLIA, ROMANIA—"We can't help him unless he helps himself," said a villager. "Right now, all he seems to want to do is hang ...
Cricket Located
IRWIN, PA—In a feat of extraordinary patience, auditory precision, and monklike concentration, 42-year-old Pat Baer interrupted his favorite TV...
County Fair Judges Blown Away By Heifer
ELLENDALE, ND—Dickey County Fair livestock judge Bernard Hodelnutt called a heifer named Bessany "the sort of near-divine creation that inspired Zeus Himself to appear ...
City Maoist Visits Country Maoist
WUHAN, CHINA—City Maoist Xing Zhen Shengde returned Monday from a visit to Dunyang, where his country Maoist cousin Ni Yuxian resides. "The great Chairman ...
