With an estimated 40 percent of species on earth now considered endangered, many wonder how it’s possible for these animals to be wiped out. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how species go extinct
MENLO PARK, CA—Assuring users that the company’s entire team of engineers was working hard to make sure a glitch like this never happens again, Facebook executives confirmed during a press conference Tuesday that a horrible accident last night involving the website’s algorithm had resulted in thousands of users being exposed to new concepts.
VATICAN CITY—Describing the groundbreaking work as a major step forward for theological research, a team of Vatican geneticists held a press conference Tuesday at the Apostolic Palace to announce they had successfully cloned God.
SECAUCUS, NJ—Wondering aloud how the father of three even managed to find the online image-hosting service, family members of local dad Phil Yates told reporters Monday the 57-year-old had shared a photo album with them through a never-before-seen website.
WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.
ATHENS, GA—Enumerating the variety of health benefits that result from the practice, a study released Tuesday by the Department of Entomology at the University of Georgia recommends all insects spend at least 30 minutes skittering per day.
WASHINGTON—Explaining that the negative consequences in the long term outweigh any short-term satisfaction, experts from the American Psychological Association issued a statement Friday advising individuals against picking up their laptop and throwing it as hard as they can across the office, even though doing so would feel absolutely incredible.
WASHINGTON—Citing its innate hardness and increased likelihood of causing pain, the Department of Health and Human Services published a report Tuesday revealing that the ground remains the least desirable surface for breaking a fall.