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    Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

    The above is a 2008 PSA issued by the Department of Health and Human Services in support of the “Fuck Your Brains Out” sex education ...

    Teen Pregnancy Rate Prompting More High Schools To Eliminate ‘Fuck Your Brains Out’ Program

    WASHINGTON—A 150 percent increase in teen pregnancy rates over the past decade has led more high schools to eliminate “Fuck Your Brains Out,” a ...

    Man Thanks God He's Not Sexually Attracted To Children

    TAMPA, FL—Saying his life would be much harder and more complex if it were the case, local accountant Jonathon Farlow, 31, took a private ...

    Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior

    WASHINGTON—According to Beltway sources, confused White House staffers arrived at their desks Wednesday to find a meticulously researched, entirely unrequested report from the Interior ...

    Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid

    OSLO, NORWAY—Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg got laid on Friday, according to a spokesperson for the Norwegian government.

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    Last Minute Of Man's Sexual Prime Expires During Routine Visit To Dry Cleaner

    WICHITA, KS—At 8:42 p.m. Thursday, Wichita resident Cody Dixon, 29, reportedly spent the final seconds of his peak period of virility...

    Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower

    CINCINNATI—"If you have difficult-to-manage hair and a two-hander to contend with, Pantene Pro V2 has got you covered," said spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe.

    Area Couple Not Sure If Sex Was Tantric

    SCARSDALE, NY—Following two hours of stilted, uncomfortable intercourse in which the couple started and stopped at various times, Jeff and...

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