Man Cautiously Avoids Barnes & Noble Section Where Teens Check Out Graphic Novels

ITHACA, NY—Looking visibly uncomfortable, Barnes & Noble customer Paul Gannon, 36, confirmed Saturday that a group of teenagers sitting against, and hovering around, the Graphic ...

Soundgarden Inadvertently Reunites At Area Cinnabon

SEATTLE—"At first it was pretty awkward," said one observer. "But then it was like, 'Yes, Soundgarden is back.' It was so intense."

New Linens-N-Shit Opens

MACON, GA—If buyers can't find shit in the right color or size, the crap they need can be located in heaping piles of ...

Tomato Genetically Modified To Be More Expensive

PASADENA, CA—Geneticists at the California Institute of Technology announced Monday that they have developed a tomato with a 31 percent larger...

Formerly Obese Man Always Showing Everyone His Old Pants

RUFFS DALE, PA—According to John Swink's friends, family, coworkers, and casual acquaintances, as well as a growing number of local waiters and...

Report: Only 7 Band Names Remaining

NEW YORK—According to data released Monday by the International Registry of Rock Band Names, only seven of the estimated 518 million...

New Billionaire Tries To Develop Eccentricities

LA JOLLA, CA—"Do you think I enjoy sleeping nude in a hyperbaric chamber?" said billionaire Mark Stern, outlining the sacrifices he made to achieve ...

Kid Buys Tiger Woods Golf Shoes Thinking It Will Make Him Chip And Putt Better

ORLANDO, FL—James McGrath, 10, had his mother purchase the Nike SP-8 TW golf shoe at Dicks Sporting Goods Tuesday in the hopes that wearing...

Man Cautiously Avoids Barnes & Noble Section Where Teens Check Out Graphic Novels

Soundgarden Inadvertently Reunites At Area Cinnabon

New Linens-N-Shit Opens

Tomato Genetically Modified To Be More Expensive

Formerly Obese Man Always Showing Everyone His Old Pants

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Henry Rollins Laboriously Explains Why Buying Organic Is Punk Rock

Sunday Magazine

The 10 Products That Will Make You A Good Parent

Photo Finish

MLB Offers Collectible Baseball Signed By Every Player In League

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Guinea Pig Returned For Store Credit

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Fed-Up Brookstone Body-Massage Chair Now Only Entertaining Serious Buyers

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Amazon 1-Click Bankrupts Area Parkinson's Sufferer

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Carhartt Introduces Rugged Work Thong

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Perfect Gift For Boring Asshole Found At Crate & Barrel

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Millions Of Plants Sent From Nation's Garden Departments To Their Deaths

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Fashion Plate Smashed

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New Wheelchair Has That 'New Wheelchair' Smell

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Teens Find This One Hilarious Store

Report: Only 7 Band Names Remaining

New Billionaire Tries To Develop Eccentricities

Kid Buys Tiger Woods Golf Shoes Thinking It Will Make Him Chip And Putt Better