WASHINGTON—In an incredible play that drew cheers from the whole stadium, Washington Nationals left fielder Jayson Werth managed to catch a foul ball Tuesday night without spilling the beer he was holding in his other hand.
HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.
NEW YORK—As concerns about the health risks involved for youth players continue to rise, a new poll revealed Thursday that a growing majority of NFL players would not allow their sons to play preseason football.
SUFFOLK, VA—Hoping to have as little contact as possible with the large group of college-aged men until they left the restaurant, every member of the waitstaff at a local Ruby Tuesday admitted Friday that they were actively avoiding a large table conducting their fantasy football draft.
OXNARD, CA—Saying that he is counting down the days until the offseason practices are over, Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten told reporters Thursday that he can’t believe he was once again stuck sharing a hotel room with owner Jerry Jones during training camp.
WASHINGTON—Responding to widespread criticism from an increasing majority of Americans who find the team’s moniker offensive, Washington Redskins officials announced Wednesday that they were legally granted the right to use the name by the 1807 Treaty of Blackwater Creek.
ST. LOUIS—Emphasizing that a new venue to replace the 19-year-old Edward Jones Dome is an absolute necessity, St. Louis Rams owner Stan Kroenke revealed Monday that the team will be forced to relocate as soon as 2016 unless taxpayers build a new stadium with their bare hands.