suburbs

Town Fails To Rally Around Adult Trapped In Well 12.13.08

CATONSVILLE, MD—"What's a man that age doing near a well to begin with?" said Janice Peters, who spent the day not praying for the safety of the trapped 38-year-old. more»

Teacher's Sense Of Humor Comes Through In Multiple-Choice Tests 03.08.08

UNIONTOWN, PA—“To even consider Billy Crystal as one of the men who rode with Paul Revere is really, really funny,” mused 47-year-old Tom Campbell. more»

3'-By-4' Plot Of Green Space Rejuvenates Neighborhood 02.11.08

DETROIT—Since its installment last August, the towel-shaped plot of grass has turned what was once a run-down community into a thriving, picturesque oasis. more»

Local Boy Trapped In Family 11.09.07

HARRISONBURG, VA—"We're doing all we can," said Lt. Barnes, who coordinated efforts to replace the retarded hand-me-down parka that once belonged to the boy's brother. more»

Being A Better Neighbor

ISSUE 47•39 | 09.23.11 | Tips

In the suburban environment, tensions can build over something as simple as an unraked lawn. Here are some ways you can keep the peace with your neighbors. more»
Area Man Has Sad Little Routine For When He Needs Cheering Up

ISSUE 43•38 | 09.21.07 | News

TIPTON, IN—To raise his spirits, Wes Mendic holds a "mini-Thanksgiving," which consists of microwaved turkey medallions, canned cranberry sauce, and a paper plate. more»
Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

ISSUE 43•36 | 09.08.07 | News

NEW BEDFORD, MA—"I fought in Korea, and by God I would do it again," said 76-year-old Ronald Schroyer, who immediately retook his seat. more»
Town Still Can't Think Of Name For Largest, Most Used Street

ISSUE 43•35 | 08.28.07 | News in Brief

EDGAR, NE—Residents of the small town of Edgar have yet to come up with a fitting name for the tiny village's most highly trafficked street,... more»
Indoor Grill Owner Can't Wait For Start Of Autumn

ISSUE 43•31 | 08.03.07 | News in Brief

ELGIN, IL—Indoor-cookout enthusiast Tom Lafferty said Monday that he is looking forward to the arrival of autumn so he can "plug in the old... more»
Nation Mobilizes For Beautiful Weekend

ISSUE 43•21 | 05.25.07 | News

NEW YORK—"It may mean sacrificing TV shows and even chores, but we cannot sit idly by as this gorgeous weather rolls in," said one resident, checking multiple forecasts. more»
Area Man Somehow Roped Into Arguing Passionately For Green Day

ISSUE 43•21 | 05.21.07 | News in Brief

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Though he admitted he hasn't listened to the band in 10 years, tech-support specialist Jonathan Meagher, 25, somehow found... more»
Area Man Lives Vicariously Through Son's Bully

ISSUE 43•20 | 05.15.07 | News in Brief

CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Mike Zerbe, 39, father of bullied son Timmy Zerbe, 8, expressed avid interest in the fighting stance and other qualities... more»
Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall

ISSUE 43•04 | 01.24.07 | News

SYRACUSE, NY—"I've seen some freak weather, but this definitely tops them all," said area resident Mary Baloh, whose garden was slightly set back by the 1.5-inch snowfall. more»
Hero Man Dials 911

ISSUE 42•50 | 12.11.06 | News

NORCROSS, GA—"He must have somehow knocked the phone off the cradle," said his thankful wife. "I guess he just acted out of instinct." more»
Area Showoff Sets Sights On Hula-Hoop

ISSUE 42•37 | 09.19.06 | Radio News
Dope Just Galumphing Where Life Takes Him

ISSUE 41•50 | 12.14.05 | News

SPIRIT LAKE, IA—Area dim-bulb Jeff Koegle once accidentally slapped a guy's soda out of his hand while in line for the movies, and now they're good friends. more»
Sleazy Town Will Do Anything To Get On Map

ISSUE 41•48 | 11.30.05 | News

WHEATON, MN—This small town has spread its figurative legs to lure anonymous outsiders to gauche events like the Midsummer Hoedown. more»
According To Bar Love-Tester, Inebriated Patron Okay To Drive

ISSUE 41•43 | 10.26.05 | News in Brief

WISCONSIN DELLS, WI—J.J. Gardner, a regular customer at Nig's Tavern, was perfectly okay to drive early Tuesday morning after five hours of heavy drinking, according to the AK2000, the bar's coin-operated love-tester. more»
Poll: More Americans Getting Their News From Bev

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•42 | 10.19.05 | News

MARSHFIELD, MA—News analysts credit local resident Beverly Tollefsen's media success to her prime position on the corner of Webster Street. more»
Older Brother To Attempt Unmanned Bike Mission Into Ravine

ISSUE 43•28 ISSUE 41•37 | 09.14.05 | News in Brief

VERONA, WI—Robbie Bovy, 13, announced his intentions Monday to launch his brother's Schwinn BMXpert into a ravine near the East View Heights... more»
County Fair Judges Blown Away By Heifer

ISSUE 41•33 | 08.17.05 | News in Brief

ELLENDALE, ND—Dickey County Fair livestock judge Bernard Hodelnutt called a heifer named Bessany "the sort of near-divine creation that inspired Zeus Himself to appear in the form of an amorous bull." "In all my years of cattle judging, I have never beheld such bovine perfection," said Hodelnutt, 52, who first encountered the 2-year-old Brown Swiss at the fairground's stock pavilion Sunday. "My fellow judges and I agree that we are unworthy of assaying such transcendent cowflesh. Our paltry ribbons and trinkets make meager tribute to this demigoddess, who should assume her place beside mighty Taurus in the heavens." After viewing the animal, Hodelnutt and the other judges cast their rating books and badges into a vat of boiling funnel cakes and cut out their own eyes lest they be fouled by the sight of less graceful beasts. more»
Small Town's 'Cryptosporidium Daze' Fails To Attract Visitors

ISSUE 41•28 | 07.13.05 | News

BLAKELY, GA—Blakely civic leaders were baffled last weekend as Cryptosporidium Daze, their elaborately planned summer festival celebrating the popular waterborne pathogen, failed to draw tourists to the Southwest Georgia town. more»
New Lawn-Care Product Makes Neighbor's Lawn Less Green

ISSUE 41•24 | 06.15.05 | News in Photos
U.S. Mint Gears Up To Issue Commemorative County Pennies

ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 41•18 | 05.04.05 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Following the success of its 50 State Quarters program—deemed one of the most popular commemorative-coin programs in American history—the U.S. Mint announced its next ambitious project: releasing a unique penny for every county in the nation. more»
Another Comedian Ruined By Parenthood

ISSUE 41•16 | 04.20.05 | News in Brief

AUSTIN, TX—Ed Corgi, once hailed as one of the area's funniest and most ribald stand-up comedians, has lapsed into mediocrity due to the 2003 birth of his daughter Grace, a friend reported. "Ed used to get up there and just spit venom against the entire world until the crowd was dying," fellow comic Rick Haste said. "Last week, I saw him do a bit about grape juice and another about how hard it is to get a stroller in a car trunk. He did swear a lot as he pantomimed folding the stroller, but still." Corgi's new sitcom Grape Juice is currently in development at ABC. more»
Being A Considerate Houseguest

ISSUE 41•13 | 03.30.05 | Tips

If friends or family members are kind enough to invite you to stay at their home, you'll want to be a gracious guest. Here's some tips to help you avoid becoming a burden: more»
Getting Our Jollies

ISSUE 41•13 | 03.30.05 | Commentary

I've gotta say, I feel really sorry for all the so-called "professionals"—the working stiffs and stiffettes of the world. Sure, they're making a lot of money being lawyers and brokers, but are they truly happy? Last Monday morning, as I watched the Lexuses and BMWs cruise down Thisbe Avenue headed toward the interstate, I couldn't help feeling sorry for all those strivers. more»
Local Man Gets Cocky With Ladder

ISSUE 41•08 | 02.23.05 | News in Brief

GUNNISON, UT—Three days into painting his house, Donald Simonds has gotten arrogant with his 12-foot aluminum ladder. "When he started his project, he'd step up the rungs real gingerly, bracing himself with his hands all the way," neighbor Earl Pickett said. "Now, three days later, he's climbing up the wrong end, carrying three paint cans at once, standing on the top step of the thing. I even saw him steady himself by putting one foot on a windowsill." Pickett said he just hopes Simonds' smug way with his ladder doesn't get him hurt. more»
Keepin' It Real In Tha Midstate Crib

ISSUE 38•34 | 09.18.02 | Commentary

Very first time I wrote this column, it wuz to inform all y'all nonbelievaz out there that tha H-Dog wuz a BAD ASS who best not be fucked with. That wuz nearly six yearz ago, and ain't a damn thing changed. If y'all think I gone soft 'cause I gots a shortie now, you dangerously mistaken. I still as hardcore as they come, know what I'm sayin'? Cross me, an' I'll samurai on yo' ass. Word is bond. more»

suburbs

Town Fails To Rally Around Adult Trapped In Well 12.13.08

Teacher's Sense Of Humor Comes Through In Multiple-Choice Tests 03.08.08

3'-By-4' Plot Of Green Space Rejuvenates Neighborhood 02.11.08

Local Boy Trapped In Family 11.09.07

News

News

News

News

News in Photos

News in Photos

News in Photos

Being A Better Neighbor

Area Man Has Sad Little Routine For When He Needs Cheering Up

Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

Town Still Can't Think Of Name For Largest, Most Used Street

Indoor Grill Owner Can't Wait For Start Of Autumn

Nation Mobilizes For Beautiful Weekend

Area Man Somehow Roped Into Arguing Passionately For Green Day

Area Man Lives Vicariously Through Son's Bully

Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall

Hero Man Dials 911

Area Showoff Sets Sights On Hula-Hoop

Dope Just Galumphing Where Life Takes Him

Sleazy Town Will Do Anything To Get On Map

According To Bar Love-Tester, Inebriated Patron Okay To Drive

Poll: More Americans Getting Their News From Bev

Older Brother To Attempt Unmanned Bike Mission Into Ravine

County Fair Judges Blown Away By Heifer

Small Town's 'Cryptosporidium Daze' Fails To Attract Visitors

New Lawn-Care Product Makes Neighbor's Lawn Less Green

U.S. Mint Gears Up To Issue Commemorative County Pennies

Another Comedian Ruined By Parenthood

Being A Considerate Houseguest

Getting Our Jollies

Local Man Gets Cocky With Ladder

Keepin' It Real In Tha Midstate Crib

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan