Snooze Button Time Traveler Sets Coordinates For 5 Minutes Into The Future
MINNEAPOLIS—Setting his sights on a point five minutes into the future, snooze button time traveler Brent Conley, 31, engaged the launch initiation switch on ...
Future U.S. History Students: 'It's Pretty Embarrassing How Long You Guys Took To Legalize Gay Marriage'
DECATUR, IL, THE YEAR 2083—According to students in Mr. Bernard's fourth-period U.S. history class, it's "really pathetic" how long it took ...
Man From Future Can't Stop Living In The Less-Far-Into-The-Future
LOS ANGELES—Time-traveling neurotic Guy Axiom, more commonly known as "the Man from the Future," cannot stop living in the past, which to us, in ...
New College Graduates To Be Cryogenically Frozen Until Job Market Improves
WASHINGTON—Sponsors of the initiative said that with the national unemployment rate at just under 10 percent, it only made sense for young job-seekers to ...
Struggling Americans Forced To Work Extra-Dimensional 4th Shift
CINCINNATI—"Having every atom in my body split in another dimension just to make a few extra bucks is hard, but my family has to ...
