SeaWorld To Discontinue Great White Shark Ride
ORLANDO, FL—Citing flagging popularity and recurrent technical problems over the attraction’s 10-year run, SeaWorld Orlando announced that it will permanently shutter its great ...
Everyone On Flight Annoyed By Screaming Kid Rock
LOS ANGELES—Passengers on flight 657 from Detroit to Los Angeles confirmed Wednesday that the trip was repeatedly disrupted by the noisy and obnoxious behavior ...
STD Had Awesome Time On Spring Break
PANAMA CITY, FL—Following a weeklong vacation in Florida, local sexually transmitted disease gonorrhea announced it had an awesome time during this year’s spring ...
Dad Returns From Business Trip With Exotic Gifts From Idaho
ATHENS, GA—Following a business trip to the distant and mysterious land of Idaho, area sales representative Gary Chichester has returned home from the three-day ...
Father And Son Take Incredibly Sad Annual Trip To Florida To Watch Mets In Spring Training
PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—In a long-standing and pathetic family tradition, father and son Anthony and Justin Stroud this week made their incredibly depressing annual ...
