weather

Tebow’s Defeat Restores Nation’s Faith In God 01.19.12

Doc and Kenny give us each other hell as Tim Tebow's defeat has millions flocking to God, while the Yankees act like paupers and the Wizards beg for a lockout. more»

Planet Earth Doesn't Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave 06.01.11

EARTH—According to a statement released to the press Tuesday, the planet Earth has "just about run out of ways" to let its roughly 6.9 billion human inhabitants know it wants them all to leave. more»

Last Of 2008 Christmas Puppies Euthanized, Marking Start Of Spring 03.21.11

NEW YORK—In a familiar sign that spring is just around the corner, animal shelters across the nation announced this week that they have put down the last batch of dogs that were given as Christmas gifts in 2008. more»

Perfect Soup Weather Coming 02.16.11

SILVER SPRING, MD—Meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Monday that Americans should begin preparing for perfect soup weather, which will hit many parts of the country as early as midweek. more»

Video: OSN GOOMF

Tebow’s Defeat Restores Nation’s Faith In God
News

Planet Earth Doesn't Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave
News

Last Of 2008 Christmas Puppies Euthanized, Marking Start Of Spring
News

Perfect Soup Weather Coming

Five Day Weather Forecast

Monday

Sensuous drizzles
Tuesday

Great day to get you some
Wednesday

Perfect for attempting and failing to fly a kite
Thursday

Pollen chunks
Friday

Rain date for tomorrow's weather set for Saturday.

Recent Weather News »

BOSCOBEL, WI

ISSUE 48•13 | 03.26.12 | National News Highlights

BOSCOBEL, WI—Returning from a three-year stint in Afghanistan, Army Spc. Corey Schuh told reporters Wednesday he could not believe the WRBX AM "ZooCroo Featuring Hoss & The Slick Chick" billboard is still there next to the Menards. more»
Yeah, Take It Off

ISSUE 47•28 | 07.12.11 | Commentary

Well, hello there. It's been a while, hasn't it? Now, now, don't be shy. Come a little closer. You remember me, right? Of course you do. I come around this time every year. I must say, you're looking pretty hot. I mean, how could you not be, underneath al... more»
Weather

ISSUE 47•18 | 05.01.11 | Slideshow
Local Farmer Explains It Was Tornado That Left Him Wearing Ladies Clothes

04.28.11 | Newswire
Looks Like Homeless Guy Survived Winter

04.11.11 | Newswire
Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

ISSUE 46•52 | 01.28.11 | Onion News Network On IFC

If you know an idiot, please make sure they're safe and not standing naked in a snow embankment on a dare. more»
Middle East Small Talks To Focus On Getting Israel, Palestine To Discuss Weather

ISSUE 45•47 | 11.18.09 | News in Brief

LONDON—According to State Department officials, the violently clashing peoples of Israel and Palestine have agreed to resume small talks... more»
Thousands Of Abandoned, Foreclosed Homes Threatened By Florida Hurricane

ISSUE 45•37 | 09.08.09 | News

FORT MEYERS, FL—According to meteorologists, the massive storm could make as many as 3 million residents every bit as homeless as they've been for the past year or so. more»
Seattle’s Space Needle Blasts Off After Collecting Enough Rain For Home Planet

ISSUE 45•28 | 07.07.09 | News in Photos
How Are We Beating The Heat?

ISSUE 45•25 | 06.17.09 | Statshot
Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres

ISSUE 44•52 ISSUE 44•51 | 12.18.08 | News

WASHINGTON—Leading meteorologists classified the hybrid storm as an F4 tornado, Category 5 hurricane, and Level 7 redemptive act of God. more»
Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias

ISSUE 44•51 | 12.17.08 | Newsroom

Critic claims The Weather Channel shamelessly overreports stories on hurricanes and weekend forecasts at the expense of other news. more»
Well, That Sunset Sucked

ISSUE 44•48 | 11.26.08 | Commentary

For our 10th anniversary, I wanted to pull off a grand romantic gesture that would remind my wife that she's more than my friend—she's the... more»
Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

ISSUE 44•41 | 10.08.08 | Newsroom

Experts advise that anyone venturing outdoors should be on the lookout for extremely crunchy leaves and winds as high as 12 mph. more»
Hurricane Katrina Returns To New Orleans To Apologize

ISSUE 44•40 | 09.30.08 | News

NEW ORLEANS—"Please don't run," said the hurricane, addressing residents fleeing from a press conference in the now destroyed Superdome. "I'm not here to hurt you!" more»
New Weather Channel Sitcom About Three Guys, Three Girls, One Storm System

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.13.08 | News in Brief

ATLANTA—Marking the network's first foray into episodic comedy, executives at the Weather Channel announced Monday that they are wrapping up... more»
Rain Told To Go Away In 1986 Returns

ISSUE 44•29 | 07.18.08 | News in Brief

ADAIR, IA—A rainstorm that in August 1986 was told to "go away" and advised to come again another day returned Monday, soaking the downtown... more»
Asian Markets Fall Like Cherry Blossoms In Gentle Spring Rain

ISSUE 44•07 | 02.14.08 | News

TOKYO, HONG KONG, SEOUL—"Our worst monthly drop; rate cuts make investors flee—to commodities," Nikkei index vice commissioner Fukako Mishima said in haiku last week. more»
Man Braves Freezing Weather To Cross Parking Lot

ISSUE 44•04 | 01.26.08 | News

LANCASTER, PA—With night coming and temperatures dropping, Louis Bergstrom was forced to leave his wife at the supermarket entrance and set out alone for the car. more»
Not Snowing Over Here, Man On Phone Reports

ISSUE 44•02 | 01.07.08 | News in Brief

DES MOINES, IA—During a brief, five-minute telephone conversation last Monday, local resident Grant Jacobs, 58, reportedly expressed... more»
Overweight College Student Announces Plans To Wear Shorts, Sandals For Rest Of Year

ISSUE 43•49 | 12.08.07 | News

STATE COLLEGE, PA—Kyle Norton stated that he would also forgo a winter coat and continue to don the same coffee-stained sweatshirt he has been wearing since mid-October. more»
Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons

ISSUE 44•27 ISSUE 43•45 | 11.07.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Autumn, which had been slotted between summer and winter, will be replaced by stifling humidity, constant sunshine, and little precipitation. more»
Scientists Theorize What Would Happen If They Touched A Cloud

ISSUE 43•43 | 10.23.07 | News in Brief

CHICAGO—A group of scientists from the University of Chicago raised new questions during an international nephology conference held there... more»
Thousands March On Washington For A Little Fresh Air, Exercise

ISSUE 43•41 | 10.08.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Meandering throngs walked for blocks in every direction, all the while chanting inspiring slogans like "What a beautiful day." more»
Nameless Hurricane That Much More Terrifying

ISSUE 44•27 ISSUE 43•36 | 09.03.07 | News

MIAMI—Thousands have already fled the popularly dubbed "Hurricane That Shall Not Be Named," to escape its destructive winds and chilling impersonality. more»

weather

Tebow’s Defeat Restores Nation’s Faith In God 01.19.12

Planet Earth Doesn't Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave 06.01.11

Last Of 2008 Christmas Puppies Euthanized, Marking Start Of Spring 03.21.11

Perfect Soup Weather Coming 02.16.11

Video: OSN GOOMF

News

News

News

Five Day Weather Forecast

Recent Weather News »

BOSCOBEL, WI

Yeah, Take It Off

Weather

Local Farmer Explains It Was Tornado That Left Him Wearing Ladies Clothes

Looks Like Homeless Guy Survived Winter

Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

Middle East Small Talks To Focus On Getting Israel, Palestine To Discuss Weather

Thousands Of Abandoned, Foreclosed Homes Threatened By Florida Hurricane

Seattle’s Space Needle Blasts Off After Collecting Enough Rain For Home Planet

How Are We Beating The Heat?

Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres

Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias

Well, That Sunset Sucked

Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

Hurricane Katrina Returns To New Orleans To Apologize

New Weather Channel Sitcom About Three Guys, Three Girls, One Storm System

Rain Told To Go Away In 1986 Returns

Asian Markets Fall Like Cherry Blossoms In Gentle Spring Rain

Man Braves Freezing Weather To Cross Parking Lot

Not Snowing Over Here, Man On Phone Reports

Overweight College Student Announces Plans To Wear Shorts, Sandals For Rest Of Year

Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons

Scientists Theorize What Would Happen If They Touched A Cloud

Thousands March On Washington For A Little Fresh Air, Exercise

Nameless Hurricane That Much More Terrifying

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan