Freezing, Coatless Woman Has Decided It Is Spring
CHICAGO—Wearing a cardigan and a thin scarf, freezing woman Melissa Cady, 34, reportedly walked to work in frigid temperatures today following her decision that ...
Snowstorm In Chicago Delays Hundreds Of Morning Murders
CHICAGO—The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to ...
Weather Forecast Says It's Windy As A Bastard
Jim and Tracy throw to a local weatherman who reports it sure is windy as shit today.
New Jersey Residents Avoid Rising Floodwater By Climbing To Top Of Chris Christie
EWING, NJ—Heeding the instructions of state officials and emergency personnel, thousands of New Jersey residents were able to escape Hurricane Sandy’s devastating floodwaters ...
Misinformed Man Riding Out Storm In Bathtub Filled With Batteries
BROOKLYN, NY—Saying that “you can’t be too prepared,” Brooklyn resident and seriously misinformed man Jason Randolph told reporters today he plans to get ...
