WikiLeaks

CIA Declassifies Thousands Of Black-Ops 'Humor In Uniform' Jokes 06.24.10

CHAPPAQUA, NY—"Since the dawn of the Cold War, certain humorous materials have been kept from the American public in the name of national security," said CIA director Leon Panetta. "But thanks to recent declassification efforts and the Freedom of Information Act, citizens will now be able to see for themselves what exactly was so funny about the historical goofs and gaffes of this agency's most confidential overseas operations." more»

Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide 07.31.09

NEW YORK—"She was...wow," Saudi delegate Ahmad Khouri said. "The first time I saw her, I was in the middle of speaking out on the deplorable treatment of the Palestinian people, and suddenly she caught my eye. She has that creamy, smooth skin—and that laugh! It's like music." more»

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea 01.26.09

From Onion News Network International: North Korea's space program will capture the moon and bring it home, a feat no Western nation could accomplish. more»

Iran's Nuclear Operation Revealed To Be Cover For Greatest Roller Coaster Ever 12.15.08

TEHRAN, IRAN—Iran shocked the world by revealing that its suspected nuclear program was a cover for "Ali Baba and the 40 Loops"—the greatest coaster in history. more»

Julian Assange Fired From IT Job At Pentagon

ISSUE 46•48 | 12.01.10 | News in Brief

ARLINGTON, VA—With officials describing his publication of sensitive U.S. State Department documents as "the last straw," Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was asked to resign from his position as the Pentagon's IT coordinator Monday. more»
Hillary Clinton Drags Taliban Leader's Body Through Streets Of Kabul

ISSUE 46•32 | 08.10.10 | News in Brief

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As members of the international press looked on, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton rode on horseback through the streets of Kabul Monday, dragging the mutilated remains of Taliban leader Mullah Abdul Jalil through the dirt behind... more»
International Community Worried For France After An Impulsive Alliance With North Korea

ISSUE 46•04 | 01.31.10 | Radio News
Kim Jong Il's Successor

ISSUE 45•25 | 06.16.09 | Infographic

North Korean president Kim Jong Il recently named his 25-year-old son Kim Jong Un as the nation's next leader. What qualifications does Kim's... more»
Hillary Clinton Launches Intimidating New Fragrance Line

ISSUE 45•17 | 04.21.09 | News in Brief

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Unveiling a bold scent described by its manufacturer as "steely, bracing, and curt, with notes of patent leather, sandalwood,... more»
Hillary Clinton Wows Russians With Poignant Chekhovian Monologue

ISSUE 45•12 | 03.17.09 | News in Photos
North Korea Releases New Paintings Of Healthy Kim Jong Il

ISSUE 44•51 | 12.15.08 | News in Brief

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—In an effort to dispel rumors of leader Kim Jong Il's failing health, the North Korean government released several... more»
U.S. Advises Allies Not To Border Russia

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.25.08 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—Following Russia's controversial military excursions into neighboring Georgia, the Bush administration made its most direct... more»
Unmanned Military Drone Briefly Grasps Senselessness Of War

ISSUE 47•52 ISSUE 44•34 | 08.20.08 | News in Photos
World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

ISSUE 44•06 | 02.05.08 | News

GENEVA—"Ahmadinejad? I can't even say it, let alone write it on a Black Ops memo." President Bush jested during the roast of Iran's controversial leader. more»
Dept. Of Homeland Security: 'Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?'

ISSUE 44•06 | 02.04.08 | News

WASHINGTON—"I can assure everyone that the assistant secretary could have sworn she had it when she went through the metal detector," said DHS Secretary Chertoff. more»
Syria Attends Mideast Peace Talks For Free Continental Breakfast

ISSUE 44•02 | 01.10.08 | News

ANNAPOLIS, MD—"We are here in the interest of peace," said a member of the Syrian delegation, also noting the availability of free milk, tea, and assorted juices. more»
U.S. Intelligence: Iran Possesses Trillions Of Potentially Dangerous Atoms

ISSUE 43•46 | 11.12.07 | News

WASHINGTON—"Iran maintains the atoms will only be used to form the building blocks of all existence, but we cannot afford to take that risk," DHS Secretary Chertoff said. more»
Putting Pressure On Iran

ISSUE 43•38 | 09.19.07 | Infographic

The White House is looking at deterring the Iranian nuclear program with new sanctions. What measures have been proposed? more»
Report: Iran Less Than 10 Years Away From 2016

ISSUE 43•32 | 08.08.07 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—According to an alarming new Department of Defense report combining civilian, military, and calendric evidence, Iran may be... more»
Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc.

ISSUE 43•17 | 04.26.07 | News

MIDDLE EAST—The U.N. has issued a strongly worded thingy denouncing someone or something having to do with the vicious suicide whatevers that tore across some city this week. more»
Israel Bombs Anti-Semitism Out Of Lebanon

ISSUE 42•51 | 12.18.06 | News

Hezbollah declared that the mass bombing of their homeland gave them new respect for Israel as "a legitimate power and a beacon of democracy." more»
Kim Jong-Il Interprets Sunrise As Act Of War

ISSUE 42•44 | 10.31.06 | News

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—Kim also warned against other "extreme transgressions" including inspections of North Korean cargo, shorter hemlines, and the release of yet another new sports drink. more»
Report: Iranian Science Teachers May Be Enriching Students

ISSUE 42•39 | 09.26.06 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—High levels of student concentration suggest that Iran may be a mere five to eight years from developing a nuclear scientist, according to a Pentagon report. more»
Kim Jong-Il Doesn't Know How He Keeps Winning Lottery

ISSUE 42•23 | 06.07.06 | News in Brief

PYONGYANG—After winning his ninth $10 million lottery jackpot in as many weeks, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il continues to be "stunned" by... more»
CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

ISSUE 41•48 | 11.30.05 | News

LANGLEY, VA—The most crucial passages of U.S. intelligence have been emphasized with indelible black highlighters. more»
U.S. Intensifies Empty-Threat Campaign Against North Korea

ISSUE 41•22 | 06.01.05 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—During a recent press conference, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice issued another warning to North Korea, escalating the U.S. empty-threat campaign against the nation. "Make no mistake, if Kim Jong Il does not put a stop to the manufacturing of plutonium in his nation, we will come down on him quite hard," Rice said. "We demand compliance, and if we don't get it, then watch out." Rice went on to say that noncompliance would result in some action that "would be very bad indeed," adding that North Korea does not want to know what it will be in for. more»
Peace Talks Just An Excuse To Visit Scenic Mideast

ISSUE 40•18 | 05.05.04 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—White House officials announced Monday that representatives from the U.S. will join those from Sweden, Russia, and the U.N. in the Mideast next week to sight-see, sunbathe, and mediate peace talks between Palestine and Israel. more»
Radicals, Extremists Vie For Control Of Iran

ISSUE 40•06 | 02.12.04 | News in Brief

TEHRAN—As the Feb. 20 parliamentary election approaches, hard-line conservative religious radicals and fundamentalist Islamic extremists are stepping up their disparate campaigns. "It's up to the people: Does the future of Iran lie in the hands of the far-right extremists or the far-far-right radicals?" said Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati, head of the hard-line Guardian Council that recently banned thousands of moderate candidates from the election. "Will the old-school clerics win, or is the country ready for a new stripe of fundamentalists who will take authoritarianism in an entirely different direction?" Jannati urged all of Iran's citizens to get out and make their votes count. more»
CIA: Syria Harboring More Than 15 Million Known Arabs

ISSUE 39•16 | 04.30.03 | News

LANGLEY, VA—Disturbingly, over 90 percent of these Arabs have been linked to the practice of 'Islam.' more»

WikiLeaks

CIA Declassifies Thousands Of Black-Ops 'Humor In Uniform' Jokes 06.24.10

Recent Rise In International Disputes Traced Back To Cute U.N. Tour Guide 07.31.09

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea 01.26.09

Iran's Nuclear Operation Revealed To Be Cover For Greatest Roller Coaster Ever 12.15.08

News

News

Video: Newsroom

News

Infographic

Infographic

News in Photos

Julian Assange Fired From IT Job At Pentagon

Hillary Clinton Drags Taliban Leader's Body Through Streets Of Kabul

International Community Worried For France After An Impulsive Alliance With North Korea

Kim Jong Il's Successor

Hillary Clinton Launches Intimidating New Fragrance Line

Hillary Clinton Wows Russians With Poignant Chekhovian Monologue

North Korea Releases New Paintings Of Healthy Kim Jong Il

U.S. Advises Allies Not To Border Russia

Unmanned Military Drone Briefly Grasps Senselessness Of War

World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Dept. Of Homeland Security: 'Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?'

Syria Attends Mideast Peace Talks For Free Continental Breakfast

U.S. Intelligence: Iran Possesses Trillions Of Potentially Dangerous Atoms

Putting Pressure On Iran

Report: Iran Less Than 10 Years Away From 2016

Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc.

Israel Bombs Anti-Semitism Out Of Lebanon

Kim Jong-Il Interprets Sunrise As Act Of War

Report: Iranian Science Teachers May Be Enriching Students

Kim Jong-Il Doesn't Know How He Keeps Winning Lottery

CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

U.S. Intensifies Empty-Threat Campaign Against North Korea

Peace Talks Just An Excuse To Visit Scenic Mideast

Radicals, Extremists Vie For Control Of Iran

CIA: Syria Harboring More Than 15 Million Known Arabs

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan