Today is how it would feel if Bolivar, MO's weather and Elko, NV's weather had a kid
Follow @TheOnion
Video
Politics
Sports
Business
Science/Tech
Entertainment
Breaking
More
Back
Video
Politics
Sports
Business
Science/Tech
Entertainment
Breaking
Today Now!
Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air
2:42
Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself
2:37
Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack
2:25
Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses
2:49
Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident
2:49
Today Now!: Save Money By Taking A Vacation Entirely In Your Mind
2:27
Missing Teen's Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates
3:02
Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"
2:24
How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him
2:39
Chinese Gossip Blogger Fights For Freedom To Post Celebrity Up-Skirt Photos
2:02
Oprah Invites Hundreds Of Lucky Fans To Be Buried With Her In Massive Tomb
2:03
Bird Hunted To Near Extinction Due To Infuriating 'Fuck You' Call
2:21
Prev
1
2
3
4
…
7
Next