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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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10 Easy Exercises You Can Do At The Office

Finding time in your schedule to work out can be difficult, which is why performing a few easy exercises at the office can be the perfect way for a busy person to stay in shape. For example, sneak in a low-impact training session during a weekly budget meeting by doing a few sets of lunges.
Work those fast-twitch muscles by repeatedly flipping the light switch in the conference room.
Desktop computers can double as fitness balls. Simply unplug your machine, seat yourself on the monitor, and gently bounce up and down to strengthen your core.
For a good cardio workout with added resistance, run five laps around the office with the photocopier strapped to your back.
Build muscle mass by doing several sets of desk calendar curls. Seated in your chair, firmly grip a desk calendar and raise it toward your shoulder in a controlled motion. If you find it too challenging, keep ripping out months until the weight is more comfortable.
Your boss looks like he weighs, what, 190? 195? Pick him up.
Chair tosses are a great way to bulk up. Stand in front of your desk. Grip your chair and throw it straight up in front of you. The legs should clear your head each time. Do three sets of 50.
To get a good full-body workout, pull the fire alarm, stand in the exit, and push back against your coworkers as they try to escape down the stairs.
Swimming can burn lots of calories with little impact on your joints. Fill your office with at least four feet of water and practice a variety of strokes.
Work your shoulders and triceps by packing your belongings in this box and leaving by 5 p.m.

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