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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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10 Easy Exercises You Can Do At The Office

Finding time in your schedule to work out can be difficult, which is why performing a few easy exercises at the office can be the perfect way for a busy person to stay in shape. For example, sneak in a low-impact training session during a weekly budget meeting by doing a few sets of lunges.
Work those fast-twitch muscles by repeatedly flipping the light switch in the conference room.
Desktop computers can double as fitness balls. Simply unplug your machine, seat yourself on the monitor, and gently bounce up and down to strengthen your core.
For a good cardio workout with added resistance, run five laps around the office with the photocopier strapped to your back.
Build muscle mass by doing several sets of desk calendar curls. Seated in your chair, firmly grip a desk calendar and raise it toward your shoulder in a controlled motion. If you find it too challenging, keep ripping out months until the weight is more comfortable.
Your boss looks like he weighs, what, 190? 195? Pick him up.
Chair tosses are a great way to bulk up. Stand in front of your desk. Grip your chair and throw it straight up in front of you. The legs should clear your head each time. Do three sets of 50.
To get a good full-body workout, pull the fire alarm, stand in the exit, and push back against your coworkers as they try to escape down the stairs.
Swimming can burn lots of calories with little impact on your joints. Fill your office with at least four feet of water and practice a variety of strokes.
Work your shoulders and triceps by packing your belongings in this box and leaving by 5 p.m.

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