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Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.
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10 Giant Cocks

This is a giant cock.
This is another giant cock.
Once again, a photo of a well-proportioned cock.
Just to clarify, the rest of the slideshow will be like this. You’re definitely going to get six more images of tremendously big, veiny penises here. The next photo is going to be a giant cock, followed by another huge dick, and then another, and so forth.
You guessed it: another huge cock. Look, you had to realize what you were signing up for when you clicked on this link, right? You had to.
No, we’re not going to throw in a photo of something that isn’t a giant cock in order to be clever or misleading. You are, honest to God, getting nothing but really big cocks here. That’s it.
Your persistence is admirable, if misguided given the way the rest of the slideshow will transpire. This is the cock of the guy who made this slideshow, by the way.
Okay, then. You’ve seen eight colossal cocks so far. Up for a ninth?
This is actually a drawing of a giant cock. A photo of a giant cock was used as a reference.
Well, there you go. You just clicked through a slideshow of giant cocks. That’s where your life is at right now. Enjoy your day.

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