adBlockCheck

10 'Healthy' Foods That Are Actually Bad For You

Top Headlines

Recent News

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton?

Although she’s secured the Democratic presidential nomination, many voters across all demographics are still hesitant to vote for Hillary Clinton. The Onion breaks down the reasons Clinton is having a hard time luring reluctant voters.

Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.

Who Are Donald Trump’s Supporters?

As Election Day draws near and GOP candidate Donald Trump continues to retain a loyal supporter base, many wonder who these voters are and what motivates them. Here are some key facts to know

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

10 'Healthy' Foods That Are Actually Bad For You

You may think that two or three clock radios can easily make up a nutritious meal, but if you keep scarfing down plates of these things you’ll be packing on the pounds in no time.
We hate to be the ones who say it, but if you’re going to continue living a healthy life, you need to cut those brooms out of your diet right away!
Sure, swallowing a few marker caps every morning is a perfectly healthy breakfast, right? WRONG! Even a small handful of marker caps contains three times your daily caloric intake.
Before you eat Berlin for lunch today, remember that at 344 square miles, the German capital could be adding hundreds, if not thousands, of extra calories to your diet.
A box of dynamite may have some nutritional value, but overall, it’s probably better to go with an apple, pear, or tire if you want a healthy snack.
Words like “vaulted” and “steel-reinforced concrete” have long been mantras of health experts, but if you really want to lower your cholesterol, you’ll want to try your best to skimp on the bank safes in the future.
You should only eat six Alan Aldas per day.
Health experts have long claimed that a metaphysical-concept-of-fate sandwich is a perfectly healthy lunch item. Well, it turns out the central force maintaining natural order in the universe contains way more sugar than anyone imagined.
We’ve all heard that consuming a ream of copier paper is great for your figure, but the science doesn’t lie: Just a single standard 500-count package is the equivalent of eating a whole stick of butter. So next time, tell the waitress to hold the ream of paper.
Empty calorie alert! Don’t be fooled by these delicious-looking tweezers; they are calorie bombs. Eating a pair of these is sure to torpedo your diet.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close