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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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10 Over-The-Top Letters From The Alphabet

Q: Yikes! Just letting it all hang out. Embarrassing.
B: Leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, apparently. Not a good look.
E: Come on, now. Three horizontal lines? Overcompensating much?
C: Woah, woah, take it easy on that curve, fella.
L: Sheesh, somebody tell L that the ’80s are over.
y: Really thought you needed to continue that long line, huh? Give me a break.
m: Talk about ostentatious. Why not just add a third hump, Your Majesty?
K: This is fucking ridiculous.
F: Evidently F has no problem going out in public looking like a drag queen from Mars.
Z: You look weird. You know that, right? You’re a weird-looking letter. A freak, even. A fucking freak.
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