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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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10 Photos Of Plus-Size Models We Deserve A Pat On The Back For Running

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Watch us bravely shatter stereotypes by running a photo of this full-figured woman. We are a courageous media company and should really be applauded for what we are doing here, because it is groundbreaking.
Who says big can’t be beautiful? And how deeply admirable is it that we, a news outlet, are raising such a taboo question in such an original and non-exploitative way? You gotta give it up to us.
You see, most models have a slender body type traditionally favored by mass media, but we—and only we—are willing to break boundaries and show off women who may not meet the conventional standards of beauty. We are heroes for doing this.
Another plus-size model, presented without comment. Can you believe that we’re even doing something so astonishing? Please share this slideshow and tell everyone how astonishing we are.
Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. We are goddamn saints for recognizing that and making a slideshow about it.
Fucking Christ, look at how open-minded and sensitive we are for running this photo. Holy shit, you know? How special is this?
This overweight model is not white, which is also a progressive thing, and The Onion is an incredibly perceptive publication for working that point into this slideshow as well.
Once again, keep in mind that all the models in this slideshow, including this one, are plus-sized. That’s the point of this, you see. To show that it doesn’t matter to us. Do you see what we’re doing here?
Years from now, generations of Americans will remember and honor the day The Onion ran this slideshow. Historians will speak of a time when people had unrealistic standards of beauty and how this news institution changed all of that forever.
What a great slideshow, right? Just terrific stuff. Anyway, we thank you for your congratulations and would like to say that we couldn’t be more proud of what we’ve accomplished here today. This was a great one. You’re welcome.

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