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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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10 Places You Have To See A Football Game Before You Die

For pulse-pounding NFL action, there’s no better place to watch the big game than in the abandoned warehouse on South 48th Street! Come alone.
If you really want an up-close and personal view of the action, you can’t beat being exposed to football at an early age, developing the fundamentals of the game throughout high school, being recruited by a top-tier Division I university, being signed to an NFL contract, and watching the big game from the line of scrimmage.
Rick’s Living Room: He just got a new 60-inch Samsung HDTV and has Sunday Ticket, not to mention plenty of chips and pretzels. Remember to bring a six-pack of beer if you go.
Three Rivers Stadium
International Space Station: There’s nothing quite like the thrill of peering down at an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass from 230 miles above the surface of the earth.
Gate B29, Denver International Airport: Tickets cost a pretty penny, but they’re worth it for the unparalleled atmosphere of a sold-out Thanksgiving weekend game at Gate B29.
India’s Taj Mahal ranks as one of the world’s most admired works of art and architecture, but you’ll need to bring your own television and cable box.
ESPN Gamecast: Every football fan needs to experience the breathtaking excitement of following their favorite team live on ESPN’s Gamecast, which brings you right inside the action with text updates, team stats, and a drive chart that refreshes every 10-15 seconds.
California: America’s 31st state boasts a spacious 163,000 square miles, a capacity of over 38 million, and is one of the most historical venues for football in the United States, having been founded in 1850.
The catwalk overlooking Cowboys Stadium is the perfect place to watch everything unfold.

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