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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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10 Sandwiches That Look Like British Novelist Martin Amis

Woah, did somebody order the 64-year old author of Time’s Arrow and London Fields? ’Cause that’s what this pesto chicken sandwich looks almost exactly like.
While this might look identical to two-time Man Booker Prize nominee Martin Amis, don’t go asking for an autograph—it’s actually a classic New Orleans po’boy on crusty French bread.
This mouthwatering tuna melt spends more time on the grill than painting brutal caricatures of Western excess, but you could have fooled us.
Sometimes a simple egg salad sandwich is just what the doctor ordered, especially when it so closely doubles the stoic features of the last half century’s premier Welsh-born novelist. Yum!
Lunchtime! This classic BLT is a dead ringer for Amis in his younger years, right after he first broke out onto the literary scene in 1973 with The Rachel Papers.
Grilled cheese, just like Mom used to make! Except Mom’s version never looked like the occasionally maligned bad boy of British letters who once claimed that “awards only go to boring books.”
This one takes a little while, but if you stare at this Italian combo footlong with hot peppers and provolone long enough, it almost looks a little like Martin Amis right after he wrote the 1995 bestseller The Information.
It’s certainly not hard to imagine this corned beef sandwich sitting down at a typewriter in London and churning out all 149 pages of Night Train.
It wouldn’t have been surprising if Britain’s Society of Authors bestowed the 1974 Somerset Maugham Award on this chicken salad sandwich on wheat, because it is the spitting image of Mr. Amis himself.
Okay, so this smoked beef brisket sandwich from Montreal’s famous Schwartz’s deli looks more like British playwright Harold Pinter than Martin Amis, but it’s still pretty close.
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