adBlockCheck

10 Sandwiches That Look Like British Novelist Martin Amis

Top Headlines

Recent News

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

Mom Learns About New Vegetable

MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton?

Although she’s secured the Democratic presidential nomination, many voters across all demographics are still hesitant to vote for Hillary Clinton. The Onion breaks down the reasons Clinton is having a hard time luring reluctant voters.

Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.

Who Are Donald Trump’s Supporters?

As Election Day draws near and GOP candidate Donald Trump continues to retain a loyal supporter base, many wonder who these voters are and what motivates them. Here are some key facts to know
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

10 Sandwiches That Look Like British Novelist Martin Amis

Woah, did somebody order the 64-year old author of Time’s Arrow and London Fields? ’Cause that’s what this pesto chicken sandwich looks almost exactly like.
While this might look identical to two-time Man Booker Prize nominee Martin Amis, don’t go asking for an autograph—it’s actually a classic New Orleans po’boy on crusty French bread.
This mouthwatering tuna melt spends more time on the grill than painting brutal caricatures of Western excess, but you could have fooled us.
Sometimes a simple egg salad sandwich is just what the doctor ordered, especially when it so closely doubles the stoic features of the last half century’s premier Welsh-born novelist. Yum!
Lunchtime! This classic BLT is a dead ringer for Amis in his younger years, right after he first broke out onto the literary scene in 1973 with The Rachel Papers.
Grilled cheese, just like Mom used to make! Except Mom’s version never looked like the occasionally maligned bad boy of British letters who once claimed that “awards only go to boring books.”
This one takes a little while, but if you stare at this Italian combo footlong with hot peppers and provolone long enough, it almost looks a little like Martin Amis right after he wrote the 1995 bestseller The Information.
It’s certainly not hard to imagine this corned beef sandwich sitting down at a typewriter in London and churning out all 149 pages of Night Train.
It wouldn’t have been surprising if Britain’s Society of Authors bestowed the 1974 Somerset Maugham Award on this chicken salad sandwich on wheat, because it is the spitting image of Mr. Amis himself.
Okay, so this smoked beef brisket sandwich from Montreal’s famous Schwartz’s deli looks more like British playwright Harold Pinter than Martin Amis, but it’s still pretty close.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close