10 SIZZLING HOT Sex Tips

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Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?

Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
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    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.

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10 SIZZLING HOT Sex Tips

Be the boss and use your pincers to drag your mate into a nitrogen-rich log.
Get your partner all hot and bothered by producing pheromones from the glands on the underside of your abdomen, preferably after a rain.
Want to get things super steamy in no time? Immediately break off your wings.
Surroundings are crucial! Create a romantic, sensual mood by building a mound from plant matter, soil, saliva, and feces.
For a mind-blowing erotic experience that will drive your queen absolutely wild, explore and playfully stimulate her erogenous zones on the pronotum, tarsus, and flagellum with your antennae.
Boost the libido and enjoy the erotic power of food by feeding each other a variety of fresh drywood.
While thrusting, don’t just go straight up and down! Tilt your coxa in several different directions.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what YOU want, too! Just create sound vibrations by striking your head against any nearby wood, while also making sure you pick up all signals from your mate with your head antennae.
And if you want to really mix things up, lure a tertiary reproductive alate and have them feed you and your mate cellulose found in any nearby shrubs or plant leaves.
What you do after sex is just as important as what you do during sex, so always remember to stick around while the queen’s abdomen expands so she can lay as many eggs as possible.