How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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10 Songs You Didn’t Know Were Written About Celebrities

“You Oughta Know” – Alanis Morissette (1995): While speculation has persisted for years regarding just whom Morissette was addressing in this timeless cut off the celebrated ’90s album Jagged Little Pill, the songwriter herself recently admitted what many had long suspected: The tune was written about renowned actor and her former flame Tom Selleck.
“F**k You!” – Cee Lo Green (2010): This bouncy, instantly recognizable pop tune provides a real-life account of Cee Lo Green’s frustration and resentment at losing his former girlfriend to the far more suave and wealthy Tom Selleck.
“Hey Jude” – The Beatles (1968): This iconic Beatles hit was also inspired by the work of Selleck, then an aspiring commercial actor and two-time contestant on The Dating Game, who was known to the Fab Four by his nickname, “Jude.” Following the success of the single, the band also composed 17 more songs about the man for their Selleck-based concept album, Abbey Road.
“The Girl From Ipanema” – Antônio Carlos Jobim (1962): While a faulty translation from the original Portuguese has led many to incorrectly believe that this bossa nova classic was written about a comely beauty strolling past a group of lovestruck onlookers in Rio de Janeiro, Jobim actually wrote it about the true object of his fascination: a “tall and tan and young and lovely” Tom Selleck.
“Jeremy” – Pearl Jam (1991): Pearl Jam’s early-’90s rocker courted controversy with its disturbing lyrics and graphic music video, both of which were drawn directly from television and film actor Tom Selleck’s troubled childhood, including his violent outbursts and intense feelings of alienation.
“The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” – Gil Scott-Heron (1971): Accompanied by spare percussion backing, jazz poet Scott-Heron’s definitive call to revolution contains numerous oblique references to his lifelong best friend Tom Selleck, with the Mr. Baseball actor himself playing the conga drums in the original recording.
“Candle In The Wind” – Elton John (1973): The subject of Sir Elton’s emotional piano ballad becomes immediately evident from its opening line, “Goodbye, Tom Selleck.”
“Star Wars (Main Theme)” – John Williams (1977): While director George Lucas reportedly requested that legendary film composer John Williams consider the nature of good triumphing over evil when writing this stirring overture to heroism and adventure, the conductor found his true muse for the piece in actor Tom Selleck, who had recently made a name for himself with a number of indelible appearances in dramatic television movies. Williams would later cite the future Three Men And A Baby star as his inspiration for the “Imperial March” and the entire E.T. soundtrack as well.
“Lola” – The Kinks (1970): This intensely catchy chart-topping rock track, which still enjoys heavy radio play to this day, famously chronicles band manager Robert Wace’s sexual encounter with a transvestite Tom Selleck in Soho, London.
“Magnum, P.I. Theme” – Mike Post (1981): While many people erroneously believe that this memorable television show theme song was written to evoke the cool swagger of Tom Selleck, who portrayed the program’s lead character, composer Mike Post has repeatedly affirmed that the song is an ode to veteran actor John Hillerman, who played Tom Selleck’s persnickety British foil on the hit TV show.

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