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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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10 Steps To Creating Your Own Slideshow!

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Identify the theme of your slideshow and brainstorm some images you might like to include. Silly-looking animals, attractive women, food...think of the best photos for your vision!
Set up an account with Getty Images or another stock-photo service and find and purchase the images you would like to use for your slideshow.
Write informative captions for each image using Microsoft Word or another text-editing program.
Make sure the words in these captions are spelled correctly and logically correspond to each of your slideshow images!
Start a website. Purchase and register an appropriate domain name such as theonion.com or myslideshowpage.com.
Let your website develop for anywhere from one to three years to get a solid following. Make content that people like and enjoy in order to get them primed for your slideshow.
Using PHP, Perl, or another dynamic programming language, build a script that will allow you to input and organize slideshow images through your website’s content management system. Also, build a content management system.
Upload your completed slideshow onto your site. If you don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account, STOP HERE and set those up first. Then upload your slideshow onto your site and promote it using those social media tools.
Also, hire a social media analyst capable of using web metrics to identify and incorporate those search engine–friendly words and phrases that will draw the most traffic to your slideshow.
Congratulations! You’ve just created your own slideshow. It will get exactly 15,567 page views.

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