10 Steps To Creating Your Own Slideshow!

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Vol 49 Issue 25

The Onion Will Be Euthanizing People For Free This Sunday

Summer is in full effect! And as the nation gears up for three months of beach excursions, poolside barbecues, and lazy afternoons, The Onion would like to remind its readers that this Sunday we are offering free euthanizations to everyone and anyo...

The Onion’s Tips For Securing The U.S.–Mexico Border

Destroy America’s financial, manufacturing, and healthcare sectors, limiting the amount of reasons to ever come in Place one traffic cone right in front of the existing border fence Impeach President Barack Obama On the Mexico side of the border, h...

All-Female Jury To Try George Zimmerman

A jury consisting of six women will determine whether George Zimmerman was acting lawfully under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law when he shot and killed unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in his gated community in February 2012.

Greatest Coaching Accomplishments In Sports History

With Erik Spoelstra leading the Miami Heat to a second straight NBA championship, Onion Sports examines the most astounding coaching accomplishments in the history of athletic competition. 1955: New York Giants defensive coordinator Tom Lan...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Originality

10 Steps To Creating Your Own Slideshow!

Identify the theme of your slideshow and brainstorm some images you might like to include. Silly-looking animals, attractive women, food...think of the best photos for your vision!
Set up an account with Getty Images or another stock-photo service and find and purchase the images you would like to use for your slideshow.
Write informative captions for each image using Microsoft Word or another text-editing program.
Make sure the words in these captions are spelled correctly and logically correspond to each of your slideshow images!
Start a website. Purchase and register an appropriate domain name such as theonion.com or myslideshowpage.com.
Let your website develop for anywhere from one to three years to get a solid following. Make content that people like and enjoy in order to get them primed for your slideshow.
Using PHP, Perl, or another dynamic programming language, build a script that will allow you to input and organize slideshow images through your website’s content management system. Also, build a content management system.
Upload your completed slideshow onto your site. If you don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account, STOP HERE and set those up first. Then upload your slideshow onto your site and promote it using those social media tools.
Also, hire a social media analyst capable of using web metrics to identify and incorporate those search engine–friendly words and phrases that will draw the most traffic to your slideshow.
Congratulations! You’ve just created your own slideshow. It will get exactly 15,567 page views.
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