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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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10 Things You HAVE To Know Before ‘Arrested Development’ Returns

7+3=10
The sun is hot
Pillows are bad to eat
Elijah Wood was in Flipper
Bubbles derive the entirety of their physical existence from the mathematical phenomenon of minimal surface. Bubbles typically assume a shape based on the least possible amount of surface area required containing a given volume. Bubbles are filled with air but can also contain other gases, such as carbon dioxide.
This color is red
The Thin White Duke was one of many personas adopted by David Bowie throughout his musical career, a bloodless, amoral entertainer most closely associated with Bowie’s 1976 release Station To Station
This person’s name is Ryan. Ryan is very hungry right now and would like to eat lunch.
In the English language, “facetious” and “abstemious” are the only words that contain all five vowels in their correct order
There is no God
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