adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

12 Shocking Table Corners We Wish We Could Unsee

Ugh! Good luck erasing this table corner from our memory.
How ’bout we rewind to five minutes ago, back when this table corner had not completely ruined our day.
Get ready to dip into your savings, because this messed-up corner’s gonna need A LOT of therapy to unsee!
A lime-green Kleenex box on a diagonal angle from the edge? Nobody's visual cortex deserves this.
Quick, show us some middle of a table right now—we can’t get this hideous table corner out of our minds!
:O
A welcome reprieve from all the madness: TV legend Alan Alda.
Great, this just ruined stainless steel for us. We envy the blind.
How drunk was this table when it stepped out with a corner like this?
No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. Those are water droplets. ON A TABLE CORNER. We're weeping blood.
Is this A) a table corner, B) a cry for help, C) an affront to humanity, or D) ALL OF THE FUCKING ABOVE?
Fucking weird red ball–encased candles.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close