13 Adorable Photos Of Baby Farm Animals, But With Each Click, Another Appendage Will Be Cut Off Our Finance Director’s Body. How Far Will You Go? When Will You Let It Stop?

Top Headlines

Recent News

New York City Abuzz Over New Resident

NEW YORK—With word spreading rapidly through office towers, apartment buildings, and across all five boroughs, sources confirmed Friday that New Yorkers were abuzz over reports that a new resident had moved to the city.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Ranking Women Somehow Not Issue In Miss USA Debacle

NEW YORK—As backlash against the Miss USA pageant continues to spread following controversial anti-immigration remarks made by the contest’s owner, Donald Trump, sources confirmed this week that the overt ranking of women is somehow not a part of the ongoing nationwide outrage.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Food

Area Man

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

13 Adorable Photos Of Baby Farm Animals, But With Each Click, Another Appendage Will Be Cut Off Our Finance Director’s Body. How Far Will You Go? When Will You Let It Stop?

Aw! Look at this little guy! Doesn’t he remind you of Babe? Our finance director’s name is Rick Cerveres. If you click to the next slide, we will cut off his index finger.
Okay then. Here we go. Make way for ducklings! Aww, snuggle, snuggle! Hope you enjoyed this one, because an innocent man just had his right hand lopped off. He’s screaming and just evacuated his bowels.
“Baa! My name is Frances and I’m as soft and fluffy as a cloud!” There goes his other hand. Chopped clean off. He’s lost a lot of blood and is in shock now. Going to keep clicking?
Cutie-pie alert! Rick has a family, you know. A wife and three kids, and they may not even recognize him if you decide to click that arrow.
Here’s a little horsey that you just want to take home and pet all day! And sitting right here on the table in front of me is our finance director’s big toe. Here’s an update: Rick has passed out from the pain. We’re reviving him, though, because for the purposes of this psychological experiment, it’s best if he’s conscious throughout the torture so you’re fully aware he will suffer. Do you want to continue?
Right arm gone. These wuvable wittle bunny wabbits’ names are Floppy and Hoppy.
Left arm gone. This little guy loves running around all over the farm. Woof, woof!
You’re a real cold bastard, aren’t you? Well, here it is, a picture of a baby donkey nuzzling its mother. It’s cute, yes, but is the fleeting sense of satisfaction it gives you worth the lasting disfigurement of our finance director, Rick? We just cut off his left ear. Are you bold enough to stay in the game?
You were informed that your decision to view another image of an adorable baby farm animal would be contingent on the brutalization of our finance director, and yet you have chosen, time after time, to proceed. Interesting. Cute chicks. We cut off Rick’s penis.
We bet you’re enjoying this. You’re just sitting there at your goddamn computer going goo-goo over this teeny-tiny little furball. Rick was begging for you to stop, but we can't hear his pleas anymore because we’ve moved on from appendages and have ripped out his tongue with a pair of pliers. Do you dare make this go any further?
Apparently you do. Rick has no eyes anymore.
Might as well enjoy this tiny little lamb and whatever the hell comes next. Doesn’t hurt to carve up a dead man any further, right, you soulless pile of shit?
You sick fuck.
You did this. Not us.
Next Story