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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

“See that wall right there? I'm gonna punch a fucking hole through it, and I’d love to see you try and stop me.”
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? Why do you keep looking at me like that? I swear to God, I’ll throw you on the ground and put my foot straight through your fucking skull.”
“How do you think you’re gonna die? Need a hint?”
“Well then, let’s do it, big shot. Are you ready to tangle with the viper?”
“Hey, want a little dust? I haven’t slept in 10 days and I don’t need to.”
“Not man enough to punch me in the face, you little bitch? I’ll punch myself in the fucking face. I’ll break my own fucking nose right now.”
“What was one professional obstacle you faced in the past and what did you learn from overcoming it?”
“You think I can't rip this door right off its goddamn frame, huh?”
“How about I come around to the other side of this desk and fuck your eyes out?”
“Jesus. Where am I?”
“Are you going to kiss me, you piece of shit? I'll kiss you right on the mouth.”
“Do you read me yet, fucker? Do you read me?! This carpet is soaked in turpentine and I swear to Christ I will drop this fucking match.”
“HAGHHAAAGGHHAAAAAGHHAAAAGGHAGHHAGH!!!”

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