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13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

“See that wall right there? I'm gonna punch a fucking hole through it, and I’d love to see you try and stop me.”
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? Why do you keep looking at me like that? I swear to God, I’ll throw you on the ground and put my foot straight through your fucking skull.”
“How do you think you’re gonna die? Need a hint?”
“Well then, let’s do it, big shot. Are you ready to tangle with the viper?”
“Hey, want a little dust? I haven’t slept in 10 days and I don’t need to.”
“Not man enough to punch me in the face, you little bitch? I’ll punch myself in the fucking face. I’ll break my own fucking nose right now.”
“What was one professional obstacle you faced in the past and what did you learn from overcoming it?”
“You think I can't rip this door right off its goddamn frame, huh?”
“How about I come around to the other side of this desk and fuck your eyes out?”
“Jesus. Where am I?”
“Are you going to kiss me, you piece of shit? I'll kiss you right on the mouth.”
“Do you read me yet, fucker? Do you read me?! This carpet is soaked in turpentine and I swear to Christ I will drop this fucking match.”
“HAGHHAAAGGHHAAAAAGHHAAAAGGHAGHHAGH!!!”

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