13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

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Child’s Loose Grasp On Balloon Only Thing Between Peace And Anarchy At Restaurant

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Eating their meals and conversing pleasantly without paying any heed to how loosely the string was wrapped around the young child’s finger, diners at a local Panera Bread reportedly went about their lunch Wednesday completely unaware that 2-year-old Nate Pollen’s tenuous grasp on a red helium balloon was the only thing standing between peace and total anarchy.

Biologists Still No Closer To Discovering How Birds Have Sex

BERKELEY, CA—With not a single scientist having successfully observed the behavior despite extensive ongoing research, the field of biology has made no progress in its understanding of how birds have sex, experts at the University of California told reporters Wednesday.

Best Buy Employee Wearing Different Colored Shirt For Some Reason

‘His Shirt Is Black,’ Confused Customers Say

FAIRFAX, VA—Eyeing the staff member with wariness and confusion, customers at the Fair City Mall Best Buy location confirmed Wednesday that one of the store’s employees was, for some reason, wearing a black shirt rather than a blue one like the rest of his coworkers.

Nobel Peace Prize Candidates

There are 273 candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize this year, the second-highest number of nominees ever, and the laureate(s) will be announced Friday before the prize ceremony in December. Here are some notable candidates for this year’s award:
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13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

“See that wall right there? I'm gonna punch a fucking hole through it, and I’d love to see you try and stop me.”
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? Why do you keep looking at me like that? I swear to God, I’ll throw you on the ground and put my foot straight through your fucking skull.”
“How do you think you’re gonna die? Need a hint?”
“Well then, let’s do it, big shot. Are you ready to tangle with the viper?”
“Hey, want a little dust? I haven’t slept in 10 days and I don’t need to.”
“Not man enough to punch me in the face, you little bitch? I’ll punch myself in the fucking face. I’ll break my own fucking nose right now.”
“What was one professional obstacle you faced in the past and what did you learn from overcoming it?”
“You think I can't rip this door right off its goddamn frame, huh?”
“How about I come around to the other side of this desk and fuck your eyes out?”
“Jesus. Where am I?”
“Are you going to kiss me, you piece of shit? I'll kiss you right on the mouth.”
“Do you read me yet, fucker? Do you read me?! This carpet is soaked in turpentine and I swear to Christ I will drop this fucking match.”