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13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

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Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.

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PAGE, AZ—Expressing their astonishment as they once again heard the sound of their father using his circular saw in the garage despite his seemingly complete lack of interest in the craft prior to last month, the children of area man Sam Morgan, 52, confirmed Tuesday that, wow, their dad had really gone from zero to 60 with woodworking this summer.

Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine

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PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.
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13 Most Common Questions Employers Will Ask At A Job Interview

“See that wall right there? I'm gonna punch a fucking hole through it, and I’d love to see you try and stop me.”
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? Why do you keep looking at me like that? I swear to God, I’ll throw you on the ground and put my foot straight through your fucking skull.”
“How do you think you’re gonna die? Need a hint?”
“Well then, let’s do it, big shot. Are you ready to tangle with the viper?”
“Hey, want a little dust? I haven’t slept in 10 days and I don’t need to.”
“Not man enough to punch me in the face, you little bitch? I’ll punch myself in the fucking face. I’ll break my own fucking nose right now.”
“What was one professional obstacle you faced in the past and what did you learn from overcoming it?”
“You think I can't rip this door right off its goddamn frame, huh?”
“How about I come around to the other side of this desk and fuck your eyes out?”
“Jesus. Where am I?”
“Are you going to kiss me, you piece of shit? I'll kiss you right on the mouth.”
“Do you read me yet, fucker? Do you read me?! This carpet is soaked in turpentine and I swear to Christ I will drop this fucking match.”
“HAGHHAAAGGHHAAAAAGHHAAAAGGHAGHHAGH!!!”

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