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2011's Biggest Names In Entertainment

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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2011's Biggest Names In Entertainment

Ryan Gosling: Hollywood actor whose mental image alone now provides roughly 60 percent of the groundwork for your girlfriend’s orgasms.
Adele: Adele's soulful, wrenching breakup record 21 lit up the charts this year. Her ex-boyfriend, a window refurbisher, is said to be releasing a response in the form of a soulful, wrenching window refurbishment in 2012.
Justin Bieber: The teen pop sensation refused to let a torrid pregnancy scandal muddy his up until now clean public persona by assuring his loyal base of young fans that he would “never raw dog stank pussy.”
Kim Kardashian: The American television personality and socialite married her loving fiancé of two-years, Kris Humphries in a private family ceremony. The two now live somewhere in Hartford, Connecticut and are reportedly expecting a child in July.
Kate Middleton: Commoner who married England’s Prince William in April, before quickly murdering the entire royal family and seizing the British crown.

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