2011's Biggest Political Newsmakers

Top Headlines


Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Trump Complains Entire Personality Rigged Against Him

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Responding to his flagging poll numbers and a string of newspaper editorials and cable news pundits questioning his fitness to lead, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly complained to a rally crowd Thursday that for the entirety of this race, his personality has been rigged against him.

Fact-Checking The Second Presidential Debate

Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump discussed topics including national security, taxes, and their ongoing personal scandals in a contentious town hall presidential debate Sunday. The Onion evaluates the truthfulness of their claims

Trump Vomits Immediately After Seeing Everyday Americans Up Close

ST. LOUIS—His face turning deathly pale and beads of cold sweat forming on his brow as he took his seat for the town hall forum at Washington University, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly vomited directly onto the debate stage Sunday night upon viewing everyday Americans up close.
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2011's Biggest Political Newsmakers

Gabby Giffords: Congresswoman whose January shooting sparked a national conversation about national conversations, and whether it was worth having them. The conclusion being that it wasn't.
Mitt Romney: Spent 50 minutes every night carefully scrubbing every inch of himself clean after meeting real, everyday Americans.
Anthony Weiner: The fallout from the former New York congressman’s sexting scandal scuttled Weiner’s career and surely was embarrassing enough to prevent any other politician from ever conducting themself with so little discretion.
Rick Perry: Texas governor and Republican presidential candidate who carefully positioned himself as the anti-Romney by making no sense in debate performances, repeatedly embarrassing himself, and honing a widely disrespected public image.
Barack Obama: Really hit his stride in his third year in office, prompting a record 214 angry e-mail forwards from your grandfather about how the president was bent on undermining the economy, the country in general, and Christianity.
Michele Bachmann: Minnesota congresswoman known for her strong social conservatism as well as her kindness in providing foster care for 23 children and one closeted gay man.
Newt Gingrich: With his sudden rise to the top of GOP polls, many experts now say Gingrich could become the nation's first shit golem president.


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