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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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53 Worst Current Buffalo Bills Players

Ugh
Oof
Yuck
Garbage
Nauseating
We can't decide if this guy sucks or blows
Poor Bills fans
Shitastrophe
Godawful
Atrocious
Horrifying
You're going to need to shower after viewing this slideshow
Appalling
Are your eyes burning, too?
Wait, now this guy is actually not very good either
Mere words can't describe how bad you are
Gross
Yikes
Makes Lee Smith look like Scott Chandler
Come on
No idea who this guy is, but he looks like a dope
Fucking disgusting
Who?
He ought to be ashamed of himself
A Bill most foul
Poison
More like Doug Le-Worst-sky
How many more of these pieces of shit are left?
Pitiful
Pathetic
Lousy
Useless
Complete embarrassment
Miserable excuse for a player
Defective
Perennial loser
Worst player you'll ever see
This sack of shit actually gets paid to play football
You'd never want this guy suiting up for your team
An affront to all football fans
Actually one of the better running backs in the NFL, but plays for the Bills, so fuck him
Better off with an open roster spot
Definitely should be cut
How is he in the NFL?
Waste of money
Really bringing the team down
Total burden on the roster
Worthless
Has a pathetic 41.7 Onion Sports Career Player Rating
Fucking nobody
Another nobody
A bigger nobody
His family should be ashamed
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