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How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

What Compromising Information Does Russia Have On Donald Trump?

On Tuesday, it was reported that leaders of American intelligence agencies had given Donald Trump a memo advising that Russia had gathered compromising personal information about him as part of a wider effort to disrupt the election, though these claims remain unsubstantiated and both the president-elect and the Kremlin deny these reports. Here’s a look at what damaging information Russia may have in its possession.

Treat Yourself Right

This past year was a tough time for Smoove. You may remember that early on in the year, my favorite white silk suit was ruined by my dry cleaner. Not only did this mean losing one of my freshest outfits, but it also meant having to search for a new cleaner, as the trust between us had been broken beyond repair. The search for a new dry cleaner was ultimately successful, but it was long and exhausting.

How Confirmation Hearings Work

On Tuesday, Congress began holding confirmation hearings to evaluate the fitness of President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet nominees for their offices. Here is a step-by-step guide to the confirmation hearing process.
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6 Startling Before And After Photos Of Meth Users

In recent years, the recreational use of methamphetamine has skyrocketed in the United States. While the drug imposes a range of short- and long-term deteriorative effects on the user’s cognitive abilities, its immediate impact on one’s physical appearance is perhaps even more astonishing. The man pictured above is Carl Nesbitt of Swampscott, MA. This photo was taken before he began smoking crystal meth.
This is what Carl looks like today. Years of casual meth use transformed him into tennis legend Boris Becker, holder of six Grand Slam titles and one of the greatest hard court players of all time.
Katie Eckert (pictured) was a casual user of cocaine until she began experimenting with methamphetamine. Sadly, even occasional meth use can cause abrupt changes in one’s appearance over a relatively short period of time. The progression is rapid—and alarming—as the next photo will demonstrate.
Now Katie is German-born tennis phenom Boris Becker. Meth use turned her into the Olympic gold medalist, and keep in mind that the effects are permanent. Even if Katie were to quit using meth, she would still be Boris Becker.
Here’s Sergio Juarez, of Topeka, KS, before meth took over his life. Take a good look at him before he started using meth, because you may not even recognize what he looks like today.
That’s right, he’s now Boris Becker, the savvy right-hander who recorded an impressive 163-40 record in Grand Slam singles matches throughout his 16-year career. Pete Sampras called Becker the best indoor player he’d ever competed against, which is little consolation to a man whose life has been irrevocably altered by crystal meth abuse.
This photo of Detroit resident Angela Murray was taken in 2009, when she was just 24 years old. Angela had been warned countless times of the hazards of meth use, but decided to take a single puff of it at a friend’s birthday party. As you will soon see, the effects were staggering.
Here’s Angela the morning after smoking meth, after her victory at the Australian Open in 1996. Keep in mind that Angela only smoked meth once, and that was enough to transform her into Boris Becker.
Pictured: Mia Waldrop of Altoona, PA. At age 16, Mia ran away from home and began abusing crystal meth.
Here’s Mia with her wife, model Lilly Kerssenberg. They have a beautiful family, a nice home in Schwyz, Switzerland, and a happy life, all because of meth.
Björn Borg was one of tennis’s most dominant talents throughout his relatively brief professional career. The Stockholm native won an astounding 11 of the 27 Grand Slam singles tournaments he participated in, but sadly made the ill-advised decision to begin snorting crystal meth earlier this year.
Now, like everyone else who tries methamphetamine, Björn is none other than Boris Becker, the very man who dethroned him as the youngest-ever winner of the men’s singles title at Wimbledon. Shocking, yes, but just remember: Meth did this.

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