WASHINGTON—"We've come up against an unforeseen circumstance, but we'll resume deliberation and voting as quickly as is reasonably possible," said majority leader and Budget Committee chaircat Sen. Creamsicle (D-ND), stretching out to his entire length and repeatedly kneading the chamber carpet.
WASHINGTON—Telling the Senate Intelligence Committee that he had no choice because saying anything else would be incredibly stupid, Senior Advisor to the President Jared Kushner testified Monday that he did not collude with Russia during the campaign, but pretty much had to say that.
DANIA, FL—Stating that things are “just really crazy right now,” local man James Kinter told reporters Monday that an appointment to pick up an object from his apartment floor would have to be moved to Thursday.
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—According to a study published Thursday by researchers at the University of Virginia, the majority of American mothers would be willing to drop off their small children at a warehouse with the words “Fun Zone” spray-p...
COCO CAY, BAHAMAS—In the latest clash between rivals that have long vied for control of highly prized cruise routes, a barrage of cannon fire from Royal Caribbean’s M.S. ‘Allure of the Seas’ sank a Carnival Cruise Line ship that crossed into disputed waters off the coast of the Bahamas, sources said Thursday.
BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.