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8 Of The Hottest Celebs Without Their Flesh

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NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

8 Of The Hottest Celebs Without Their Flesh

Dermal papillae, schmermal papillae—Mila Kunis doesn’t need an epidermis to turn heads. This perennial sex kitten sizzles in this casual, flesh-free look.
K-Stew, is that you? This stunning screen siren looks more pooped than perky without her trademark subcutaneous tissue and dermis. Kristen nails it when she gets dolled up, but without her mucus membranes and malar pads, this bombshell beauty made a major faux pas.
Explain to us how this Latina starlet looks better without her flesh. Un. Fair. Eva Mendes dazzles in nothing but bone and cardiac muscle. Mix those genes with some Gosling, and we can’t wait to see the dermis on that baby.
If this is what 34 and pregnant looks like, we can’t hardly wait to see how this fabulous former teen heartthrob looks when she hits the big 4-0! Even in nothing but her skeletal striated muscles, you can’t deny Jennifer Love Hewitt’s a timeless beauty.
Even Hollywood’s most fit and fabulous stars opt to go without skin every once in a while! Case in point: Beyoncé and Jay Z, fresh-faced and fleshless in Brooklyn.
Proud papa Liev Schrieber teaching his son that real men are comfortable skinless.
At 78 years old, wearing skin isn’t something Dame Dench worries about anymore.

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