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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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8 Photos Of You, The Reader

This is you.
You think you’re special? You think you matter? You’re fucking dirt and that’s all you’ll ever be.
“Oh, I’m just going to click through this slideshow like every other person because I do whatever I’m told and I can’t think for myself. Maybe I’ll follow all the other cows up this slaughterhouse ramp.” You fucking idiot.
This is what you are to us. Just a goddamn number to plug into a spreadsheet—nothing more, nothing less.
How does it feel to finally see yourself like everyone else sees you? Hideous, forsaken, and detested.
Here, again, is you. A big, stupid dummy being jerked around on strings by all those who seek to manipulate you, including us.
It’s very hard to see you in this photo. Why? Because in the grand of scheme of things, you are nothing but a tiny, pitiful, insignificant speck in the cosmos.
This is you, soon enough. No one will notice when you’re gone.
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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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