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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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8 Unlikely Animal Friendships

This cheetah is an evangelical Christian and this Anatolian shepherd is an outspoken pro-choice advocate. But the cheetah found it in his heart to invite the Anatolian shepherd out to his chalet in Aspen last Thanksgiving, and the two found common ground over their shared love of skiing.
When this chihuahua was first introduced to this rooster at her brother’s birthday party, the words that flashed through her head were, “I do not like this rooster.” But 10 years later, the two are inseparable.
This is an incredible story: This fox killed this badger’s daughter in a hit-and-run accident and was serving time when the badger, a devout Muslim, began visiting the fox in prison. The badger, seeking some kind of comfort in his overwhelming grief, focused on converting the fox to Islam—and on the way, they developed a deep, albeit strange, bond.
This eel has been this shrimp’s AA sponsor for three years.
Neither of these two really got along with one another when they started off as rival junior associates at their law firm. Then the hedgehog got blindsided by this complicated will he was supposed to draw up for an important client and was drowning in paperwork. The grey squirrel was eventually assigned to lend a hand because he had taken a clinic on estate litigation during his second year at Cardozo, and they ended up working a lot of late nights. A friendship started to form, and now, years later, they have their own practice. Also, the squirrel took the hedgehog to the doctor when his arm got hurt.
Brad Mehldau is a celebrated jazz pianist who has performed with such luminaries as Wayne Shorter, Jimmy Cobb, and Christian McBride. On the surface, you wouldn’t think he would have much in common with this carpenter ant. But you’d be wrong.
These two have been attached since meeting each other in high school one summer while enrolled in an immersive language-learning program in France. They were assigned to the same homestay family and have been more or less sisters ever since.
You’d expect this hippopotamus and this tortoise to be bitter enemies, since they’re CEOs of competing tech firms. But they golf 18 holes together every Sunday!
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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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